The Good Girl
by CullenLush
Summary: Edward's a jaded player...but what happens when the player gets played and his whole existence is changed? AU, OOC, rated M for language, adult themes, and lemons
1. Jaded

***Author's Note* This is the second piece I'm posting and it actually started off as a story that I originally started in 2000. I have re-worked it as a Twilight fic. If you read it, please review, as I definitely need a little encouragement. Also, please check out my short story "Monster". Thank you I hope you enjoy reading it!**

**All songs referenced at the beginning of each chapter can be found on my profile.**

**Present-tense inner dialogue (note, different than past-tense inner thoughts) are represented in italics.  
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**AU, OOC, Rated M for language, adult themes, and lemons...characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

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_He had the anti-midas touch_

_Temporary state of mind_

_But a chance to die enhances growth_

_Now I'm trembling all the time_

_Silverchair - The Man That Knew Too Much_

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The soft classical music could be heard wafting down every hallway and the sound of laughter and mindless small talk could be distinguished over the noise of the string quartet. People mingled, others worked, and reporters surrounded a select few, each one wanting a good story or a provocative quote they could use; probing and questioning until they had gotten the information they wanted. Then, they would move on to the next important person in a cycle that continued throughout each room.

Somehow, I managed to escape a swarm of ravenous reporters and was able to find my way into the banquet room, where I found a table in the darkest corner possible. I collapsed onto the plush booth, laying my head down and stretching my legs out across the seat. I threw my arms over my eyes, trying to subdue the dim light that was shining high above me. I sneered slightly, knowing the satisfaction of a much-awaited sleep would never take over me. I had been among the crowds for over an hour and had finally reached my breaking point.

Every few months the hospital holds a fundraiser and all doctors and their families are required to attend. Well, supposedly "required". Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and I were the only ones in attendance tonight. Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie had not been hunting in awhile and Alice had a vision that it would have been disastrous if they tried to attend in their hungry state, so they were off hunting while Emmett and I suffered.

I scowled as I recalled that particular conversation. Rosalie had been devastated to miss the banquet, but not Alice and Jasper. In fact, Alice had grinned devilishly when Carlisle had given them permission to skip the banquet to go hunt. It was then that I had read her mind and realized she had been plotting it for weeks. She had purposefully declined to go hunting with Emmett and I the weekend before so that she could get out of the fundraiser. The smirk on her face still taunted me as she had skipped out the door this morning, gleefully telling me she hoped I had a great time.

_Irritating, pathological little freak._

I continued to lie on the booth, my eyes closed, hoping that nobody would bother me if they thought I was asleep. My mind was preoccupied, unsuccessfully trying to formulate a plan so that I could leave without hurting Carlisle and Esme's feelings. There was no point in me being here. I had made the rounds, spoken to my father's colleagues and smiled for the pictures. And, I had checked out every female body in the room – the only one I had found that was even mildly attractive belonged to a young nurse who I had already slept with months ago. And I refused to lower my standards and sleep with her again. I never slept with anyone more than once. It was for their own good, though they didn't know it; but I knew how dangerous it would be for someone to get too attached to me. This was the life I lead, some might call me an "incubus", but I just call it being an immortal seventeen-year-old man. Hormones and commitment issues, all of that good stuff that guys always claim when in reality they just want to sleep around.

My mind was elsewhere, but not so engrossed that I missed the approaching footsteps. I felt someone leaning over my body, and I silently cursed the person who had disturbed me.

"Go away, Emmett." I muttered, not bothering to open my eyes. He didn't respond and I could just imagine the shit-eating grin that was on his face. I silently waited a few more seconds, hoping he would just leave, but knew it was useless. I finally gave in and moved my arms from my face and slowly opened up my eyes, cringing not at the light, but at the fact that his face was a mere inch away from mine. I had been right, he did have a shit-eating grin on his face. I made a mental note to hurt him when we got back to the house.

"Hey, whatchya doin' Edward?" Emmett said while finally backing away from me, having noticed the scowl that had formed on my face. I just glared at him, hoping he'd get the picture and leave. He didn't.

"Well?"

"Well", I spat at him, "I was trying to be alone until someone just had to bother me." I glared at him again. "That would be you."

He just rolled his eyes and sat down across from me at the table. I sighed and sat up in the seat, realizing he wasn't going to leave me alone anytime soon.

"I'm surprised you're not crippled from boredom, Emmett. These stupid banquets always suck."

"I am bored, loser. So bored in fact that I had nothing better to do then come sit with you." He rolled his eyes again and picked up the silverware that was neatly placed in front of him. He started to drum the knife and fork against the table, refusing to look up at me, knowing the look I was throwing him was not a good one.

"If I'm so lame why don't you go and bother Carlisle and Esme then, huh?" Without skipping a beat with his new 'drumsticks' he snapped his head up at me, a look of pure horror on his face.

"No way! They're even more boring than you are, plus they're hanging around Rosalie! Wait, that didn't come out right. Don't you dare tell her I said that!"

"Rosalie?"

"Yeah Edward, you know, my wife." He stated while looking around the room, still drumming away with the silverware, which was really starting to annoy me.

"No shit, Emmett, I know who she is." I snapped at him, getting really pissed off at everything he was doing. I lunged for the silverware he had in his hands and snatched them away from him, placing them on the table in front of me.

"Hey! Give them back, jackass!"

I just ignored him and went back to what I had been saying before. "I was just surprised to hear she was here."

"They got back early from the hunting trip. Anyway, you should know by now Edward! If there's a banquet, Rosalie finds a way to be there, especially if there will be photographers. Which is why I'm avoiding her, she's mobbed." Emmett said as he slid forward in the booth, trying to get his silverware back. I quickly picked them up and put them on the seat beside of me, out of his reach. He sighed and fell back into the seat, obviously having given up on getting his drumsticks back.

"Jasper and Alice are around here somewhere too."

I started crowing with laughter, thoroughly amused that even after all her scheming, Alice had still been forced to come. I quickly scanned the thoughts of the crowd, trying to find Alice's thoughts. I could just imagine how miserable she was. My laughter started to subside as I realized that I couldn't find her amongst the crowd. Aggravated, I turned my attention back to Emmett.

"I hear Jasper, but I don't hear Alice anywhere."

"Then I guess she left."

"Without Jasper?"

Emmett shrugged and I rolled my eyes at his complete lack of concern.

"Jasper was talking with a bunch of people, I bet she decided to escape while she could, with or without Jasper.

"Whatever happened to 'No man left behind,'" I mumbled, more annoyed that she hadn't taken me with her than about Jasper's well being.

"It's Alice."

I shook my head in disgust, "I swear, she's sadistic." I smiled to myself, thinking of how just moments earlier I had been excited to see her miserable.

_So maybe I'm a little sadistic too._

Out of nowhere, a blur appeared and a figure sat down beside of Emmett. I shot my head up to see who had just joined us and grinned when I saw Jasper in front of me, who had his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face. I matched his expression and smirked back.

"Jasper! I see Alice's scheming paid off, huh? You missed, what, one hour, before Rosalie forced you to come?" I exclaimed, happy that he was suffering with Emmett and me.

"Missing one hour is better than missing none." He drawled. "So, I heard you talking – Alice left to go to another party – a real party."

"A real party?" I asked, skeptical.

"Over at Mike Newton's house, his parents are out of town."

My eyes narrowed, I really hated that guy, and I knew he reciprocated the feeling. I couldn't really blame him though; I had slept with his last two girlfriends. But that wasn't the point. "Alice doesn't go to real parties." I was the only one who ever ventured out to parties, and that was only so I could find new girls to hook up with. I had been begging Carlisle to relocate soon, as my selection of available women was quickly dwindling. However, Carlisle didn't see that as a justifiable reason to move. I was still working on persuading him.

"She had a vision that she needed to be there." Jasper shrugged. "She told that to Carlisle and he excused her to go."

I felt my mouth drop open and anger broiled deep inside of me. I feral growl slipped through my lips.

"That manipulating, freak show of a sister –"

Jasper held up his hand and cut me off mid-sentence.

"She also told Carlisle that you and I needed to go as well."

"Hey! What about me?" Emmett bellowed.

"Sorry, bro, nothing about you. Carlisle even asked and she said that she saw you staying here."

Emmett's eyes burned and Jasper quickly added to soften the blow, "Rosalie would be upset if you left." Emmett quietly fumed to himself. His mind was full of thoughts of telling Rosalie off for keeping him there. I couldn't help but smirk; he was so whipped.

"So, anyway, we better get going then, Edward. I have no idea why she's at that party, but she's pretty adamant that we needed to get there soon."

I felt my smirk turn into a full on crooked smile. I was escaping. Maybe Alice wasn't so annoying after all.

I quickly stood up, gave Emmett a sympathetic smile, and darted for the exit behind Jasper. We left the building, moving through the people talking outside and over to my Volvo.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for any reason to leave the banquet, but whatever Alice has planned at that party better be worth it, Jasper." I said as we got in the car. I turned on the ignition and floored the gas, speeding out of the parking lot.

"Don't worry, judging by the twinkle she had in her eye, it will be worth it." He said with a smile. I grinned back, excited to find out where my future was headed.


	2. Coerced

***Author's Note* Thank you for the reviews so far, I definitely appreciate it and they have encouraged me to get this chapter finished quicker! This chapter came along pretty quickly, but I haven't started on the next one yet. I'll try to get them up as soon as possible, I hate to leave you hanging (hint, reviews were encouragement, hint)! And if you like what you read, please check out my short story "Monster", it's gotten no love so far. Hope you enjoy this chapter! And, as always characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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_We run, we hide_

_We wait and we want the good life_

_Aw sure, you're right_

_This ain't the good life_

_INXS - Elegantly Wasted_

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I smile crept onto my face as Jasper and I entered the Newton's huge house; this was my kind of party, the kind where anything goes. I could see a DJ in the next room where people were dancing and I could feel the beat of the music pounding into me, making me tap my foot to the rhythm. There were crowds of people and I recognized at least a few people in each group. I turned to comment on it to Jasper when I realized he was gone. I was standing by myself in the busy entranceway – that's never a good thing. My party experiences have taught me that you've got to be hanging out with someone; standing by yourself gives people a bad impression. And we had more than enough reasons for them to dislike us already. Nobody knew what we really were, but most had caught on that we were dangerous. I couldn't afford to deepen that fear further; I would never get laid again.

I began to walk towards the kitchen, exchanging pleasantries with people, though I wasn't fond of anyone I saw. It didn't matter though; I just smiled and nodded whenever they called out to me, never letting on that I could kill them with the slightest movement. Girls called to me – some I recognized as one-night-stands and others who were hoping for that chance. They wouldn't get it. As I looked around, I saw nobody marginally attractive that I hadn't already conquered. It was like the hospital fundraiser all over again. I rolled my eyes and continued into the kitchen. I found a table full of drinks and picked one up; I had no intention of touching the vile liquid inside, but I had to keep up appearances. But at a party like this, I doubted anybody would have even noticed if I pulled out a deer and drank its blood right in the middle of the room. Like I said, this was my kind of party.

I pretended to take a sip of my beer and surveyed the room, trying to find any cute girl and make eye contact with her; I was determined to get laid tonight, but at the rate I was going, I would end up alone and horny.

_Just perfect._

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone frantically calling my name in their thoughts. I turned towards the direction the voice had come from, but all I could see was a hand waving to me from among a crowd, slowly making it's way over to me. I craned my neck and smiled when I finally saw the owner of the voice. Alice finally made her way out from the crowd and stopped a few feet in front of me. She was so short and I loved giving her grief about it; I acted like I was looking above her for the source of the voice and finally after I few moments of 'searching' I dropped my chin down and acted surprised when I saw her. She had since put her hands on her hips and was giving me a stern glare, yet I could see a playful smile on her lips.

"There you are, Alice! I forgot I had to look down to find you." I teased, mocking her by also putting my hands on my hips.

"Very funny Edward", she snapped, "I forgot I had to look for the gigantic ego to find you." She glared at me again but couldn't hold back the smile that she had been trying hide. "I'm so glad you came, Edward!" She exclaimed while jumping forward and hugging me. I hugged her back and then bent down to kiss her on her forehead. The animosity I had felt for her earlier had almost completely dissipated once I saw her. Almost.

"I'm glad you got me out of there, Alice. Took you long enough though." I smiled down at her – she had a great smile, really big and friendly. She was always so perky and happy, and just an all-around fun person to be around. I really did love her. We had never hooked up or anything, our relationship wasn't like that, plus she and Jasper had been together for as long as I had known her, but Alice had always been my kindred spirit, bonded over our special abilities. She was a true friend, even when she did drive me absolutely insane with her psychic bullshit.

"So, what are you doing here all by yourself, huh?" She inquired while wrapping her arms around my waist and looking up at me with those golden eyes and gorgeous smile.

"He's not by himself." I looked up to see Jasper had made his way to Alice's side. I let go of her from our embrace and allowed him to slip his arm around the waist of his wife. He kissed her lips softly and murmured a quiet hello to her.

"Where did you go?" I questioned Jasper, still irked that he had disappeared on me.

Jasper nodded towards Alice, "I went to find her. Turns out, she was looking for you. And here we are."

"Oh, I'm so excited for you Edward!" Alice exclaimed, practically bouncing up in down in Jasper's arms.

I was immediately suspicious, "Why? Why are we here?" Generally when Alice was this excited for me it meant she had just overhauled my wardrobe.

"Well, Jasper's here to keep me company." She smiled up at him. "And, you're here because there's someone I want you to meet!"

A new wardrobe would have been a welcome surprise compared to that. I threw my arms up in the air and groaned. Alice was forever trying to thwart my player lifestyle, and I had thought she was over the whole thing. She had put me through hell the last time she tried to set me up. It never ended well and she knew that. I would fuck the girl, immediately get bored, and then dump her. And then Alice would get mad and sulk for days at a time. Which in turn would make Jasper upset with me, and then Esme would get upset…it was just a long, horrible cycle of guilt. All because Alice already had my wedding tuxedo picked out and was getting impatient to see me in it.

_Definitely not worth it._

Alice grinned up at me giddily and Jasper smirked, always entertained by my reactions to Alice's overbearing ways.

"Alice, I'm not interested." Her face immediately fell. Somehow, she had actually been under the impression that I would go along with her little scheme. I felt guilty for upsetting her, but she really brought it on herself.

"Just meet her, Edward! Please!"

"Have you even met her, Alice?" I demanded.

"No…but I know she's perfect for you. Her name is Bella, she's really pretty and she's so sweet."

"Sweet? That means she's a prude." I snapped. "You've now downgraded her from a 'no' to a 'hell no'".

Alice's eyes narrowed and she stomped her foot. She was getting very angry now. Jasper's smirk was gone, replaced by a pleading look. His thoughts were directed at me, begging me to just humor her so she would calm down. He knew just how toxic her temper could be. I stared into Jasper's eyes for a moment longer, trying to fight off the submissive emotions he was currently hurling at me. His ability, like Alice's, was really starting to annoy me.

"Fine." I finally gave in.

"Yes!" Alice jumped into my arms and squeezed me tight. I lightly wrapped my arms around her out of courtesy and glared at Jasper over her head. He just shrugged. He thought I was being melodramatic.

"Bite me, Jasper." I hissed at him. He grinned, showing off his razor sharp teeth. He made an exaggerated biting motion at me. I growled back, angry that everyone else seemed to be getting pleasure out of my annoyances.

"Aren't you excited?" Alice finally jumped off of me and back into Jasper's waiting arms. She hugged him tightly, obviously pleased with herself.

"Oh, yeah, I'm thrilled that you are attempting to ruin my existence yet again." Maybe I was being just a little melodramatic

"Oh, come on, I add excitement to your life, Edward! You're lucky to have me." She beamed deviously and before I could stop her, she said aloud what else she had been thinking.

"Besides, if it wasn't for me, you would still be at the banquet, and then you would be going home to jerk off."

Jasper tried to suppress a chuckle as I glared at Alice. She didn't care at all if she angered me now, not when she knew she had already gotten her way. I mentally reinstated the previous insults I had made about her; she was a vicious little monster.

"So, does that mean I'm going to get laid tonight?" I said through gritted teeth. I could feel Jasper trying to calm me down again.

Alice paused for a moment, replaying the vision in her head.

"No, you're not going to get laid. But that doesn't matter, because you're going to meet a fantastic girl."

It wasn't worth the effort to fight her anymore.

"Where is she?" I sighed.

"She's not here yet," Alice paused to recheck the vision again. "But she'll be here in about twenty seconds."

"Great. Fantastic." I laced my voiced with sarcasm as I scanned over the crowd towards the front door. Alice reached out and grabbed my hand, dragging both Jasper and me back to the main hallway. She was frighteningly strong for such a small creature.

The door began to open as we reached the hall. Jessica Stanley came in first and I cringed. She had been a mistake. Behind her was Angela Weber. Another mistake, though less annoying then Jessica. Then came Lauren Mallory. Huge mistake. And finally, there was another figure, one I didn't recognize, shyly inching through the open door. I felt Alice grip my hand harder as she hopped up and down beside me. She whispered so softly that only Jasper and I had the potential to hear her.

"That's her, Edward." She breathed. "That's Bella."


	3. Conspired

***Author's Note* As always, reviews are greatly appreciated! It's starting to get harder for me to write – I'm having to deviate more and more from the original story I wrote, so it's taking more time to get everything the way I want it, as I'm not even sure if what I'm writing is decent. Hopefully you like this next chapter and please review; they brighten my day! All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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_I look at the cross_

_Then I look away_

_Give you the gun_

_Blow me away_

_Deftones - Change (In The House of Flies)_

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She was just standing there, just inside the doorway and in the middle of the hall, looking silently around the area with deep brown eyes, a small, shy smile gracing her face. She was pretty, just as Alice had said; definitely not a supermodel, but still within the range of what I considered an acceptable prospect. She was wearing a sparkling blue halter-top and a black mini skirt, as well as a pair of black heels, and her long dark brown hair was teased and curled. She looked thoroughly awkward and uncomfortable. It was painfully obvious that the rather skimpy clothing she wore was not her own and had been forced on her. My bets were on the Mallory girl. She was the biggest slut of the trio.

Overall, I was very underwhelmed. And very agitated that Alice had dragged me out to Newton's house with the sole purpose of forcing this uninspiring girl on me.

As the four girls moved down the hallway, I could hear Alice's thoughts practically screaming to me, wanting to know what I thought of her newest match. I shrugged my shoulders discretely, eliciting an audible snort from her. I looked over to find her glaring back at me.

"What's wrong with her?" She whispered to me angrily.

"Nothing's wrong with her," I whispered back, "She's just average."

"She's prettier then some of the girls you've been with." Jasper mumbled. Alice vehemently nodded her head in agreement.

"I didn't say I wouldn't do her." I sighed.

"Well you're not going to do her, so that really doesn't matter, you chauvinist pig." Alice hissed.

"Why couldn't you have seen a vision of me with a knockout supermodel who was just begging to fuck me?" I was practically snarling at her now, the bitterness in her tone echoing in my own.

"Because there are none." She snapped furiously back, eyes blazing with anger. I felt a low growl build in my chest and my hand that was still held firmly in her grasp began to tighten. We were both very close to losing our tempers.

"Stop it, both of you." Jasper stepped between us, breaking our contact. I felt a sense of calmness start to wash over me and my face relaxed from the wild-eyed grimace it had become. Our entire confrontation had lasted less than a few seconds, but it had come dangerously close to violence.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." Alice threw Jasper an apologetic look and then turned back to me. "Will you please just meet her, Edward?" She murmured softly.

I groaned quietly and stole a glance at the four girls as they progressed down the congested hallway. I crooked a conceited smile when I saw into their minds and found they were all thinking about me. Jessica's mind was intent on hooking up with Mike Newton in an attempt to make me jealous - that would definitely not work; while Angela felt embarrassed for her one night with me – she had enjoyed it, but felt stupid for falling for my charm; and Lauren thought I had looked incredibly sexy in my way-to-formal-for-Newton's-party dress shirt and pants, and was hoping for another night with me – if I could have thrown up, I would have; And Bella…

I immediately froze. Where Bella's mind should have been, I heard nothing.

"I can't hear her mind." I said, as a panicked tone entered my voice.

"What?" Alice asked innocently…way too innocently.

"I can't hear Bella's mind." I growled at her. Jasper incredulously stared back and forth from my face to Bella's retreating back. He was just as shocked by the revelation as I was. Alice on the other hand, was not surprised at all. In fact, she was gloating.

"I know." She smirked devilishly.

"You knew?"

"Of course. Good luck with that!" She taunted me in a singsong voice.

"You are truly a maniacal little freak." I muttered. "Why can't I hear her, Alice?"

"That, I don't know, but it makes her more interesting, huh? Less average?" She threw my words right back in my face.

"Actually, no, it just makes her more frustrating." I moaned. But she was right; I definitely wanted to find out more about this strange girl.

"Liar." She called me out on it. "Better go talk to her quick before Mike gets to her, I see them being a happy couple for a long time. Then you'll never have a chance to find out her secrets." She said, positively glowing from getting her way with me, as usual. She had done it once again, waited until I had played by her rules, and then threw it back in my face.

I turned away from Alice, not wanting to start yet another fight and stalked off down the hallway after Bella.

"That got him interested." I heard her giggle to Jasper as I left.

"I heard that." I quietly muttered, not bothering to turn around.

"I know." She called after me. I cringed as her thoughts turned to planning my wedding with Bella as my bride. She was driving me absolutely crazy.

That's when the idea hit me. I had something to prove to Jasper and Alice now. Especially Alice. She thought she was so big and bad with her hit-or-miss fortune telling. I was going to completely screw up her plans. Alice wouldn't see me chastely laughing and holding hands with my sweet, demure girlfriend; she wouldn't get to plan her pretty little wedding; and most of all, she wouldn't get to it rub in my face how she had been right and I had been wrong. No, her entire vision was going to be shattered. I was going to fuck Bella. Tonight. And then I would push her aside like I had done every other girl in my lifetime. I would get the satisfaction of being in control of my future. And, I would hold it over her head the next time she tried to fix me up. This was going to work out beautifully.

_Alice really does bring these things on herself._

I reached the end of the hallway and turned into the room the girls had gone into. I was now a man on a mission.

I quickly spotted Bella tagging alongside the girls as they flirted with the boys in the room. I sauntered confidently over and stepped right into their little circle. Everyone turned to stare at me, surprised by my sudden appearance and forwardness. I made quick work of introducing myself.

"Hello." I said huskily, extending my hand out to shake hers. She grasped it timidly and looked up at me from beneath her lashes. "I'm Edward Cullen. You must be new in town, I know I would have noticed you before." I flashed a sexy smile at her and awaited her response.

"She is new! Edward, this is my friend Bella." Jessica piped in, excited to get the chance to see me. You could always count on her to ruin a moment. I decided to just ignore her; she was of no concern to me tonight.

"Bella…" I basically growled to her, "Does that come with a last name?" I expected her to be completely dazzled; to stutter and mumble and fall apart in my hands like every girl before her. But not her…not Bella. Suddenly, she seemed to come alive. Her hand gripped mine tighter despite it's icy temperature and she roughly pulled me towards her. I was too surprised to resist.

She placed her mouth deliciously close to me and purred in my ear, "Whatever you want it to be, although most people just go with Swan."

She pulled back and I saw a small pout play on her lips as she tilted her head to the side. What was she doing? I had never experienced a reaction like this before. And she was without a doubt the last person I would have expected it from.

I had never wanted to read someone's mind more in my entire existence; and hers was the only one I couldn't. I felt like screaming at her, demanding to know why I couldn't hear her and why she was matching my charm instead of being intoxicated by it. How did human guys do this without being able to read minds? A sudden feeling of inadequacy fell over me. Could my charm be attributed to my special talent? Was it all just an illusion? No, I was a vampire; everything about me drew people in. But why not her? But no, looking at her I could tell she was definitely interested, she was just flirting back. I was thoroughly confused, but I pushed my questions out of the way; I would deal with them later. Right now, I had a job to do

"Well then, Miss Swan, I guess we should get to know each other a little better now that we've been introduced." It was a cheesy line, and I regretted it the moment it left my lips. No way she would go for it.

She smiled at me and reached up one hand to my mouth, placing her index finger gently to my lips, tracing their outline. She leaned in towards me and let her hot breath hit my cheek a moment before she whispered to me again.

"I think that's an excellent idea…follow me."

I hadn't expected it to be this easy…this was going to be no challenge at all. And to make things even better, I caught a glimpse of Alice's mind just as her perfect innocent vision of us turned into me screwing Bella up against a wall.

_Jackpot._

Bella grabbed my hand, led me past her dumbfounded friends, and up the stairs towards the bedrooms. She found an empty one and casually walked in, leaving me to follow her. I closed the door behind me and turned to see her switching on a dim light beside the bed. I smelled the air discreetly and smirked when I realized we were in Newton's room. Yes, I was definitely going to get some sort of sick pleasure from defacing his bed.

She turned to face me, tilting her head and seductively looking at me from under her eyelashes again – beckoning for me to come closer. I walked over to her and cornered her against the wall. We were only inches apart and I looked directly into her deep brown eyes, just waiting, licking my lips in anticipation. She was teasing me, I knew it – but finally, she leaned in and gave me the sweetest, gentlest kiss I'd ever had. I could feel her shiver as she came in contact with my cold lips, but she didn't really seem to mind the way others had. The kiss intensified and she began using her tongue, being more forceful and surrounding my mouth. She began running her fingers through my hair with one hand, and caressing my neck with the other.

Suddenly she pulled away, that smile once again present. I looked her over for a second and realized she was tempting me, wanting me to take over. I leaned into her neck and began licking and lightly sucking at the skin. Years and years of practice had allowed me to get so close to these arteries without being too affected, but I still had to be careful. My mouth continued downwards until I felt something hard brush against my lips. I looked down to see a tiny gold chain around her neck with a small cross hanging from it. I smiled at the irony of both of our situations. One a vampire, not harmed in the slightest by the small token, regardless of what the legends said; the other a good girl gone bad.

As I mused at the cross, she brought one hand down to my pants and was making short work of unfastening them. I smirked at her readiness.

"You want to know something?" She breathed into my ear as she continued to unbutton.

"Hmm?"

"My friends think you're a player."

"Is that so?" I tentatively asked, leery of where the conversation was taking us.

"They told me you were going to use me for sex." I paused to gauge her expression. She just smiled at me.

"Do you believe them?"

"Absolutely." She started to kiss my neck. She was definitely very strange.

"Then why are you still doing this?"

"Because they're wrong." She paused to kiss my lips gently. "I'm the one using you."

Before I could respond, she crushed her lips to mine in a devastatingly sensual kiss. I knew she was wrong, but she would find that out soon enough. Right then, I had more important things on my mind.


	4. Betrayed

***Author's Note* I guess I should have mentioned this in an earlier chapter, but be prepared for some twists! I hope you like the direction I'm taking. I thought about it and decided this was the best way to go, so I hope you like it! Thanks for the reviews, they are always read and appreciated, and as this story is getting harder to write, they definitely encourage me to continue! Please let me know what you think! Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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_It hurts so bad when you finally know_

_Just how low, low, low, low, low she'll go_

_Chris Isaak - Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing_

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I laid motionless on the couch in my room, staring blankly up at the ceiling. How had I not seen it coming?

_Oh, right, because I'm a self-centered asshole._

I cursed my infallible mind for what had to be the one-hundredth time tonight. No, the one hundred and third time. Damn flawless mind. Generally I considered it a blessing, but not tonight. Tonight, I wished that just once my mind would fail me, to let go of the events that had transpired as if they had never existed. But instead, they just played in a continuous loop, haunting me in perfect detail. Over and over again.

I heard footsteps softly gliding up the stairs, heading towards my locked door. Esme was coming to check on me once more. Carlisle, Emmett, and even Rosalie had already approached my door in the past few hours, seeking to lure me out of my prison. But Esme had tried the hardest; this must have been her fourth trip since I came home. No, fifth, my faultless mind corrected.

"Edward, dear?" She murmured quietly outside my door. She really was a mother at heart, so kind and compassionate. But I couldn't bring myself to answer, not yet. I wasn't ready to speak with anyone, not even my gentle mother.

"Won't you please tell us what happened? Why are you so upset?" She crooned.

I hated to worry her, but what I needed was time alone. Not to think, but to try and forget. I remained silent.

"Come down when you're ready." Esme murmured tenderly, lingering momentarily before walking back down the stairs, leaving me in peace once again. I really did appreciate her concern.

As Esme drifted away, so did my mind.

I recalled everything vividly.

Her kiss was so deliciously passionate and I had moaned into her mouth, my body quickly succumbing to the overwhelming pleasure. I ran my hands over her soft body, memorizing every curve. Her deep brown eyes were very pretty up close, more beautiful than what I had originally thought. In fact, every bit of her was lovelier. Up close, I could see past the heavy makeup and teased hair, past the unflattering clothes; it felt like I was actually looking at the girl, and not the illusion.

Her body was flush with mine and I savored every inch of her warmth. She felt so good in my arms, so perfect. I kissed her neck slowly, inhaling her intoxicating aroma. I had never smelled anyone so luscious, so tempting. Her scent burned in my throat, but I welcomed it, enjoying every taste, every flame.

She bit her lip, and although the action was seductive, I could tell that it was involuntary; that she was debating something important in her head. I smiled a crooked smile, amused at her actions. She really was lovely.

She seemed to make up her mind and brought her hands down to my waist. She pushed my pants effortlessly down to my ankles, and I kicked them off in a fluid motion along with my shoes and socks. Her hands traveled back up my body, unbuttoning my shirt with the same fervor. My shirt and undershirt soon joined my pants on the floor and I stood there in front of her in just my boxers; my hands eager to show her clothes the same consideration and my body painfully hard and ready for her.

My hands swiftly moved to the back of her neck, aching to untie the thin pieces of fabric that kept her halter top in place. But she stopped me, slipping through my grasp and backing away from me slightly, a coy smile dancing on her lips. She was teasing me. I growled playfully, angry that she had eluded my hands but eager to find out what she had in mind. I imagined a sensual strip show, though I couldn't be sure. Not being able to read her mind was incredibly frustrating, but at the same time very exciting.

But what happened next completely caught me off guard. It was the last thing I expected her to do. Without saying another word, she turned away from me and quickly headed for the door. Speechless, my mouth hung open in disbelief as the reached the door and hurriedly opened it.

_She's leaving!_

My mind finally kicked back into gear and I found my voice again

"Wait!" I managed to call desperately after her. She turned around, aggravation evident on her face where there had once been desire. "What…what just happened?" I stammered. She hesitated, and it didn't take mind reading abilities to understand the look on her face; it was a look of pure vengeance.

_Oh no, this isn't good._

"It feels really awful to watch someone reject you for no fathomable reason, doesn't it?" She spat out at me. "Now you know how all my friends felt." And with that she left, leaving me bewildered and reeling from our brief encounter.

She really used me. And I had fallen for it. Unbelievable.

But that wasn't the end of my torture. Not even close. And that was not what troubled my memory now.

I heard Bella quickly descend the stairs, rushing back into the crowd below.

"Bella!" Her friends exclaimed. "There she is!"

I saw her face reflected in the minds around her as she brushed past all of her friends, looking for someone else in the crowd. Finally she found the person she was searching for and a proud smile consumed her face.

"I did it!" She called out excitedly. "I really did it!"

My entire body froze.

_Alice._

"That's great, Bella!" praised Alice. "I knew you could."

She embraced Bella and kissed her cheek lightly.

"I do feel a little bad that I just left him like that – "

"Don't be." Alice interrupted. "He got exactly what he deserved."

"What happened?" Mike Newton approached the two girls, curious to learn what the excitement was about. Alice turned to answer him, her wicked smile looking out of place on her otherwise angelic features.

"Bella just seduced my brother, and then left him hard and horny."

Newton doubled over in laughter, nearly choking as he rushed out of the room, rejoining the crowd and announcing to everyone the events that had just occurred.

I was absolutely humiliated. And furious.

Without another hesitation, I redressed and I escaped out the window, running to the safety of my car. I sped like a madman through the darkness, not slowing down until I reached the house.

I pulled into the driveway, the sound of the brakes screaming to a sudden stop echoing in the silent night. I got out of the car and found that my entire body was shaking forcefully. I stood in front of the massive house, trying to reign in my temper, but failing miserably.

With just the slightest movement of my arm, I hurled my cell phone directly into the large glass window in front of me. I didn't flinch as I watched it shatter, showering the ground with cold glass shards. And even after there was nothing left to fall, I just kept staring, unable to move. And I would have kept standing there if I hadn't heard the door open. I turned slowly to look and saw Emmett standing there in just his boxers and a t-shirt, his hair in disarray. I cringed as his mind explained his appearance; he had been cuddling post-sex with Rosalie. That was the last thing I wanted to know.

He stood there, staring back and forth between my deranged face and the broken window, waiting for an explanation over all the commotion and for the reason why I was standing in the middle of the driveway at two in the morning. I wanted to tell him everything, to break down in front of him and beg for comfort. But the words just wouldn't come. I finally moved, walking silently past him and into the house. I heard him behind be, tentatively asking me questions.

"Edward? Are you ok?" He asked cautiously. "You look horrible! What happened?" Emmett was visibly shaken by my unsound appearance; one of the few times he was ever fearful of me. I kept walking into the house.

"Edward…? What happened?" Emmett repeated.

I was halfway up the stairs before I stopped. I had finally found the words I wanted. Without even bothering to turn to look at him, I told him exactly what happened.

"I died tonight." I whispered.

I thought about what I had just said and realized how true it was. I heard it reverberating inside my head, over and over again. I heard Emmett question what I meant, and I just knew he had a confused expression on his face. I heard my family, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie, as they watched me anxiously from a distance, alarmed and baffled by my violent homecoming. I heard them call out to me, but I stopped for no one. I just started walking up the stairs again, went straight down the hallway, and entered my room, barricading myself inside. It didn't even occur to me to change my clothes or even take off my shoes, I just fell onto the couch and immediately plunged into my current catatonic state.

And that is where I still laid, hours later. My body was still, but my mind was not. The same thoughts floated through my mind on a constant rotation.

I had been humiliated. That prick Newton had laughed at me. And I had been played. By her. That shy, unassuming girl had played me. And my own sister had been her chief conspirator.

"Traitor." I growled, breaking the silence of my room for the first time since I got past Emmett. With my utterance, voices came fluttering up to me from downstairs. As if on cue, Alice and Jasper had finally returned home.

"Alice, Jasper, what's going on?" I heard Carlisle address them the moment they set foot inside. Alice sighed, irritation evident in her voice.

"Is he still moping?" She grumbled.

I felt my teeth clinch as I held back a hiss.

"I'm not sure moping is the right word, Alice." Carlisle said softly. "He's very angry." I saw in their minds that he nodded towards the shattered window.

Alice snorted. "Cry baby."

"Maybe we should try and coax him out again?" Esme questioned gently, desperately trying to keep the conversation civil.

"No, that won't be necessary. He'll come down in just a few seconds." Alice chimed in. "He's just being a drama queen, I guess Mike was right. "

That did it; I had finally reached my breaking point. I leapt off the couch and flung my door open with enough force to break it off the hinges, sending it crashing into the wall, leaving a gaping hole. I could hear a collective gasp from downstairs and heard as every mind turned towards me. I stormed down the hallway towards the stairs, crushing a chunk from the railing as my hand gripped the banister roughly.

My feet pounded heavily on the staircase, each beam of wood groaning and threatening to break under my brutal steps. The downstairs had become jarringly quiet and every mind was filled with worry and tension; they had never seen me this outraged before. Even Alice had thought it best to finally shut her damn mouth. I sneered as I witnessed the violent image in her head; my hands around her neck, teeth bared and ready for the execution. Oh, she was going to get it. Every fight we had before now was just a warm up for tonight.

As far as I was concerned, Alice Cullen had just sentenced herself to death.


	5. Restrained

***Author's Note* Same old thing: please, please, please review! This is a shorter chapter, as I've got big ideas worked out for future chapters, but I have to get through these first to set up the plot…definitely would appreciate any feedback, as it keeps getting harder and harder the more I have to deviate from my original storyline. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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_Dearest helpless intent's not as bad as the action_

_Take a breath to distort the fear in your eyes_

_I don't mean it to hurt_

_But everytime I hate you I think of you first_

_Silverchair - Dearest Helpless_

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"Jasper, Emmett!" Alice managed to call out a split second before I rounded the corner. Her voice was frantic, her mind still consumed with the violent image of her death. I felt two pairs of arms wrap around me as I turned the corner into the living room.

"You fucking, psychotic bitch!" I screamed just inches away from Alice's face as Jasper and Emmett struggled to pull me backwards away from her.

"Edward!" Esme gasped. "Language!" Leave it to Esme to be concerned about vulgarity at a time like this. I ignored her, focused only on the little demon standing in front of me.

"I'm going to fucking kill you, Alice!" I continued to scream. It was a stone cold bluff. I knew I would never hurt her; that the image in her head would never come true, but the emotions still raged through my body, keeping the frightening vision firmly intact within both of our minds.

"Good luck getting to me." She spat out smugly.

"Too afraid to fight me off yourself?" I growled at her, pulling against the arms that shackled me. She rolled her eyes, but made no other attempt to respond. With the assurance of Jasper and Emmett's strong grip, she no longer had to fear any attack from me. We both knew that, but I was still furious, and she was still somewhat cautious. The fact that it took both of their full strengths to hold me back now did not escape anyone's attention, especially hers.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I bellowed, still fighting against my restraints.

"Funny, I could ask you the same thing!" Her mind flashed to all the girls I had seduced, and I finally caught a fleeting glance at what she had been planning.

It had all been a trick. Alice had been plotting it for months; awaiting Bella's arrival, the one person whose mind I could not hear. I hadn't known to look for it in Alice's mind; I had been completely blind. She had been hiding so much from me, and I had been too consumed in myself to even notice. But I saw it all now.

She had long ago grown tired of my womanizing – I knew that, but ignored it. She and Rosalie had both taken the same stance, vehemently opposing my lifestyle. So had the others, but they had more or less kept silent, waiting for me to change on my own. I knew Alice hated my ways, but what I did not know, what I had not thought to look for, was her scheming to give me what she thought I deserved. She intended it to be a wake up call.

Everything she had said to me last night, everything I hadn't thought to question, had been laced with lies. She knew Bella wouldn't sleep with me, she knew I would fall for it, and she knew she would humiliate me. I still had unanswered questions, like the vision she had seen of me screwing Bella against the wall, but now was not the time for a civil discussion.

"How could you betray me like that?" I snarled.

"Oh, quite being so melodramatic, Edward! You got what you deserved. Shame on you for playing those innocent girls like that." I faintly heard Rosalie snort in agreement, but I just let it slide. She was not my target.

"I won't be able to show my face around town for who knows how long without being laughed at!" I exclaimed, self-pity quickly draining my rage.

"Good." Rosalie hissed, finally pulling my attention away from Alice.

_So she's ganging up on me too._

"Stay out of this, Rose." I warned.

"No. I've been quiet for too long." I scoffed; she most certainly had not been quiet.

"We all have." She continued, looking pointedly around the room, resting her gaze briefly on each concerned face. Every mind was in agreement, even Carlisle. They all supported Alice.

I couldn't take it anymore. I wouldn't get the fight my body wanted, not with Jasper and Emmett acting as Alice's bodyguards. Nobody was on my side.

_And, right now, I'm technically picking a fight with two girls – and losing._

I had to get out of there.

"Let me go." My voice was no louder than a whisper. I could feel my confidence coming apart.

"Not a chance." Jasper growled, obviously not very happy that I had just tried to murder his beloved devil of a wife.

"I'm not going to hurt anyone. I just want to leave. Please." I begged, hoping that my change in tone would convince them to release me.

"Where are you going?" Esme worriedly asked, afraid that I was leaving for good.

"I don't know. But there is no reason for me to be here right now if you're not going to let me lay I hand on that demon." Alice rolled her eyes again and muttered something about drama under her breath. I sucked in a deep breath to stabilize my temper before continuing.

"I just need some time alone. I'll be back later." I added the last part to calm Esme's fears.

Carlisle glanced at Alice who nodded once; the vision of her impending execution had disappeared. I was no longer a threat to her.

"Let him go." Carlisle said calmly. Jasper and Emmett hesitated briefly before reluctantly dropping their arms.

I ran the moment I felt their hands fall. I sprinted past my family, taking advantage of the broken window and leaping outside into the daylight. I passed my car and took off running into the woods, not knowing where I was going, just knowing that I couldn't stay there. I was vaguely aware of the approaching Quileute line and just barely avoided it's boundaries as I ran towards town.

My mind was in overdrive and I couldn't even enjoy the run.

_My whole family is against me._

I knew Alice was right, that I was being theatrical, but this was who I was. Or at least who I had turned into. I knew I hadn't been touchy in the past. I also knew I had changed significantly over time.

For years, I had been Carlisle's cherished protégé. Besides the brief phase of rebellion early in my new life, I had stood by his side, molding myself in his image. I had been a gentleman, making my father proud with my integrity and honor for human life. But as the years passed, I had become bitter and lonely. I had never confessed that out loud, but it was written on my face for all to see. I had watched as Carlisle found his soul mate in Esme. How Rosalie, who had been intended for me, had stumbled upon Emmett. I was not upset to lose her; I was upset that the same luck had never been bestowed upon me. And I had witnessed Alice and Jasper's love as they blissfully joined our family, fitting in perfectly alongside the other couples. Yet I remained painfully alone.

I had abstained from physical love for many years, ever hopeful that, like my family, I would one day find true love. But eventually my body's cravings won out; I was after all just a seventeen-year-old man. Not to mention, the thought of possibly spending eternity as a virgin had depressed me more and more with each passing year.

I told myself I slept around to keep the depression away. But the truth was, as time passed and I became more cynical and spiteful, my promiscuity only fueled my misery. I loathed myself and everything that I had become.

I came out of my thoughts and slowed when I realized I had reached the outskirts of town. I still had no idea where I was going, when I crossed a scent that was now etched in my mind forever. Bella.

Suddenly, my path was decided. I took off after her scent, in search of the only person I hated more than myself.


	6. Fantasized

***Author's Note* I really had no intention of getting this chapter up so quickly, but inspiration struck! Hope this chapter doesn't scare too many people off; there is a turning point in the next few chapters, promise! Thanks for the reviews, please keep the feedback coming (it definitely encouraged me to go ahead with this chapter)! As always, characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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_Everybody wants me to be their angel_

_Everybody wants something they can cradle_

_They don't know I burn_

_Utada Hikaru - Devil Inside_

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_She certainly isn't anything special._

Wearing a faded pair of blue jeans and a tattered tank top, Bella absentmindedly fluttered around the small kitchen. Her hair was loose and flowed down her back, and her face was free of makeup. I had to admit, she looked better than what she had last night, but still nothing particularly extraordinary. The only thing unique about her was that I still couldn't hear her thoughts, and that was more frustrating than special anyway. I mentally retracted every compliment I had given her in the heat of passion.

I had followed Bella's scent to the house of Chief Swan. It would figure she was the Chief's daughter. I really couldn't have screwed myself more thoroughly if I had tried. And now I waited outside of the kitchen window, studying her every move.

She had no idea who she had messed with, how dangerous I really was; that her friend Alice had actually put her in the middle of a dangerous crossfire – and that the danger was now lurking outside of her window, desperate for revenge. I hated her for making a fool out of me, and I wanted to teach her a lesson, right then and there.

_She didn't deserve to fuck me anyway._

I conceitedly thought. Somewhere in the back of my head, my former self chided me in disappointment for my sickening judgment. I quickly pushed the voice back to the depths of my mind where it had come from, not wanting to consume myself in even more self-loathing. That compassionate part of my life was long over.

I watched as she moved throughout the kitchen, putting away groceries and humming quietly to herself. She was alone in the house. She was completely unaware of my presence at the window. She was easy prey. So easy in fact, that I could walk right in the front door unnoticed. I clenched my teeth, realizing what I had said and what it inferred.

_If only she had been just as easy last night, she would not be in this predicament now. It really is her fault._

Again, the noble voice from long ago chastised me for such obscene thoughts, but I again banished it to the back of my conscience. I had gotten very good at doing that over the years.

Who was she to play me? This plain, ordinary little girl. I stood just outside the kitchen window, savoring the aroma coming from inside. Her scent saturated the small house and I felt the familiar burn in my throat. Only difference was, I didn't want to control my thirst now. Last night she had looked at me with vengeance, thinking she was standing up for a great cause. And I had given her the revenge she wanted; now it was my turn to get mine.

I would quietly walk in the front door, closing it silently behind me. I would approach her from behind as she stood at the counter, still mindlessly humming to herself. I would slide behind her and watch for several moments as she stood preparing a meal for her and her father. I would smile, taking delight in the fact that the Chief would be the one to find her hours later when he returned home. The paper would be inundated by stories of the chilling murder in the small, safe town. The Chief's daughter killed in his own house. No leads on a killer.

_Oh, this would be satisfying._

I could picture it so clearly. It would be erotic; that seemed only fitting. I would slide my hands under her arms, gripping her hips softly, seductively, but with enough force to keep her from escaping. She would jump, naturally, from both the surprise and my icy touch. But I would soothe her fears, whispering softly in her ear that it was just me; to not be afraid. The irony was so enticing to me.

Then I would slowly kiss her hair, running my hands over her waist, seducing her thoroughly. As my hands moved up her body to cup her breasts, my mouth would move to her skin, languishing kisses on her cheek and jaw until I came to her succulent neck. My cold breath would send shivers down her spine. She might even let out a lustful moan, regretting her decision to resist me before. Her soft, pink mouth would part slightly, inviting my lips in for a divine taste. But I would not comply. Instead, I would begin to suck gently on her throat, eliciting another moan from her longing mouth. My mouth and tongue would work together, ravishing her skin, increasing in speed and pressure until pleasure began to morph into subtle pain. She would cry out, begging me to be softer on her delicate, flushed skin. I wouldn't oblige, instead increasing my pace, matching my hands to fondle her chest at the same tempo. Just as a passionate cry escaped her lips, I would whisper seductively, "No, dear, you were wrong." I would pause to place a final kiss on her throat. "I'm the one using you." With that, I would finally sink my teeth into her soft flesh. Her sweet blood would flow exquisitely into my eager mouth, deliciously coating my lips in a red velvet glaze. The frenzy would begin and I would soon lay her motionless body on the kitchen floor.

That was my idea of vengeance.

_Little girls should really be more careful who they mess with; you never know what monsters prowl in the darkness._

I was completely engrossed, my throat burned red hot in anticipation. I had lost all hope of reasonable thought. As I watched her still standing at the counter tempting me, there was only one reason why I paused.

"Carlisle wants to speak with you." Emmett whispered. "Now." He was standing behind me with Jasper, both ready to grab me should I make a break for Bella's body. I felt a wave of compassion hit me hard as Jasper tried to rein in my thirst, while still trying to control his own.

"So are you two officially bodyguards now? I hope you're getting paid for your services." I deadpanned.

"Come on, Edward. Let's go." Jasper coaxed, not trusting his own control to last much longer if he had to keep feeling my desire for her blood.

I had been so close to losing control completely. I knew my downfall. I had paused my attack for too long, relishing in the fantasy instead of acting on instinct. I had given Alice enough time to see my future and send Emmett and Jasper to stop me. Again, the small voice in the depths of my mind came forward, telling me I should be ashamed to have such thoughts, not that I didn't have the chance to act on them. I silenced it once more. I took a last, longing glance at Bella before turning to leave.

_She has no idea how lucky she is._

I trudged back home, ever conscious of the close proximity of my chaperones. I was calm, but anxious. We didn't speak on the way back and I welcomed the silence. To be honest, I was slightly embarrassed that Emmett and Jasper knew what my intentions had been. Though Jasper had almost lost control several times since joining our family, he had never done so intentionally. On the other hand, I had just envisioned the sadistic murder of the Police Chief's young daughter and had only expressed guilt that I didn't get to see my plans through. The only thing stopping me had been my sister's vision of the slaying and the dispatching of what had become my own personal security detail. And now I was being escorted home, like a child who had run away after a temper tantrum. I didn't know what awaited me when I returned home; only Carlisle and Alice knew that. The only hint I received from Emmett and Jasper's minds was that Carlisle had seemed disappointed when Alice broke out of her sudden trance and had urgently passed on the news of my impending transgressions. Disappointed; I had let my father down. Again. Frankly, I would much sooner embrace a fight to the death against the entire Volturi guard than have that conversation with my father.

I approached the house slowly, unsure of what the mood inside would be. They had already replaced the window and I felt a wave of guilt for destroying it. My attention was piqued when I came close enough to hear their minds. They were all waiting for me. I stopped when I saw their intentions. I shook my head in defeat.

"Even worse than a fight." I moaned. Emmett raised an eyebrow, curious. "Carlisle wants to speak with me." I added.

"We told you that already." Emmett stated.

"Yes, I know. But he's blocking his thoughts from me." Carlisle only did that when he was mulling over a matter of great importance. On this occasion, I was the topic.

I sulked into the house and begrudgingly walked to the dining room where I knew they had gathered. They all sat around the dining room table, except for Carlisle, who stood with his hands on the back of an empty chair, waiting for me.

"Do I really have to have this conversation in front of everyone, Carlisle?" He was still blocking me from reading his thoughts, alphabetizing diseases by their Latin names. So though I didn't know the direction of our imminent conversation, I knew it was a discussion that I did not want to have in front of the others.

"No, you will be given privacy, or at least as much as I can offer." Carlisle affirmed. He gazed around the room, making eye contact with everybody. "Will you all be so kind to give Edward and me some time to speak privately?"

"Of course." They all murmured, exiting the room slowly…sorrowfully.

I shot Alice a warning glare as she left the room last. I didn't want her to forget that I was still angry with her. I was surprised by the sympathetic smile I received in return.

"Good luck." She thought to me, sincerity coating her words where there had previously been sarcasm. She closed the dining room doors softly behind her, leaving me alone with my father.


	7. Disappointed

***Author's Note* Wow, that was a very long, unexpected hiatus. I sincerely apologize to anyone who has been anxiously waiting to see what happens. I'm not one to make excuses, but I suppose some sort of explanation is in order. Shortly after I posted the last chapter, my Grandmother passed away and I found myself in sort of a funk (ie. writer's block). I knew what I wanted to say, just didn't have the urge to write it down. I figured it would go away after a few days, but it didn't. Then everything started to fall apart. After a lot of drama where I worked and lived (trust me, lots), I left my job and my apartment and moved back home.**

**I guess I should have prefaced this whole rambling thing by saying that my Mom had been battling cancer since January 2008. I came back home to help care for her. She went downhill very quickly and passed away about a month ago. Words cannot express what I've felt over the past month.**

**So, in the past five months, while it probably looked like I had just abandoned my little story for no reason, I was coping with the loss of my Grandmother, my job, my apartment, and most recently my beloved Mom. A lot to take in, believe me, I know.**

**In all honesty, I don't know how much or how often I'll be writing, not only because of my state of mind, but because my lovely hard drive with all my story notes is in storage and I'm left trying to remember everything I had written. Not to mention, the laptop I'm using doesn't have Microsoft Word, meaning no spell check, so please disregard any careless errors, as I'm sure there are many.**

**Regardless, I will try to write, because I do like the idea I had for this story. I do sincerely hope that if you like the story (if anyone is even still left out there wanting to read it) that you will bear with me and hang on to see what happens. As always, everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer and reviews are very appreciated and encouraging. Done with my rambling. Onward.**

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_Give me the song and I'll sing it like I mean it_

_Give me the words and I'll say them like I mean it_

_'Cause you got my heart in a headlock_

_You stop the blood and made my head soft_

_And God knows_

_You've got me sewn_

_The Feeling - Sewn_

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Carlisle swept his hand towards the empty chair in front of him, indicating for me to have a seat, with what I can only assume was meant to be a reassuring smile. It didn't work. Wordlessly, I sulked over to the chair and sat down. I felt Carlisle's hands firmly grip my shoulders briefly, also an affirming gesture. Again, it did nothing to calm me down. Between his overly kind mannerisms and the fact that he was still blocking me out of his mind (very effectively I might add) he was trying entirely too hard to keep me in the dark. I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. He pulled a chair up across from me and sat, bending one leg over his knee and calmly folding his hands into his lap. My response mirrored my anxiousness, as I felt my self leaning forward in my chair, resting my elbows on my knees and running one hand through my hair. A nervous gesture, to be sure. I saw Carlisle's eyebrows raise subtly. Though I showed my emotions readily ("drama", as Alice complains) there were a few that rarely surfaced. Remorse rarely appeared, and I remembered my lack of it at the Swan residence just moments before. Fear also, though that was easily explained; being immortal with extraordinary powers automatically cuts your amount of fear down to about 4%, I had calculated and thus concluded once (fear of being exposed making up that 4%). And nervousness, I never liked for my nerves to show...but now they were on full display as I ran my hand once again through my hair. My father always had that effect on me when I knew he was angry.

_Disappointed. Ugh, that horrible word again._

I cringed at the thought.

Carlisle finally began to speak and I braced myself for the reprimand. But his first words were not harsh, his tone not agitated; he was grieving.

"My son," he began in a voice so soft that even my sharp hearing almost missed it, "I never thought I would be having this conversation with you. But in light of recent events, it has become most pertinent that I do." He paused as if to gather his thoughts, though all I could still hear coming from his mind were pointless facts and figures. He smiled knowingly.

"If you would, Edward, I would very much like to have this conversation with you out loud, so that I can collect my thoughts before you hear them. If you wouldn't mind trying to avoid my thoughts for the duration, it would be very greatly appreciated."

"Of course." I replied meekly, immediately shifting my focus away from his thoughts. Carlisle paused again, and this time I knew he truly was focusing his point, though I kept my word and steered clear of his mind.

"Edward," his face was pained, his eyes listless. "To put it bluntly, if there isn't an immediate and drastic improvement in your behavior, I will be forced to ask you to leave our family."

I stared at my father in disbelief.

_Did those words just come out of his mouth?_

Yes, I was sure they had...but why? He continued. "Your behavior lately, especially at the Swan household just now, has been unacceptable. We do not act in this manner, we hold ourselves to higher standards, and you've been running beneath the line of decency for quite some time now, Edward." I continued to stare at Carlisle, not quite sure what he expected me to say, and not entirely sure I could find my voice to even do so had I known what it was. I was utterly afraid.

_I suppose that 4% also contains a fear of abandonment._

"Please understand," he began again when it became obvious that I had suddenly grown mute, "This is my decision and my decision alone. The rest of the family had no say in making it, so please do not hold any ill feelings towards them." I knew he was talking about Alice and Rosalie in particular. I nodded slowly in understanding, though still in silence. Carlisle shook his head sadly.

"What happened to you son? You used to have such respect for human life, such respect for yourself." He sighed. "Maybe I was wrong in changing you so young, maybe you weren't ready to bear such a burden. Maybe I should have watched over your activities with a closer eye." He trailed off, speaking more to himself than to me.

But I had heard enough.

_Now he's blaming himself. Disappointed. Taking the blame off of me._

Though I had lost respect for many things in the world, my father was not one of them. And it absolutely anguished me to see him so upset over me.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." I finally breathed out, raising my eyes to meet his, trying to channel the sincerity in my statement. He understood and smiled.

"Edward, nobody wants to see you leave. My ultimatum is just a dire last resort to get through to you. You must change son, you must. Show me that you are willing to."

"And then I can stay?" I asked hopefully.

"Absolutely. I just want to see you gain back some of the respect you once had. That means no more fantasizing about taking innocent lives, giving more courtesy to the females you pursue..."

His wording was a little suspect and I needed clarification on an important point.

"Are you asking me to give up sex?" I interrupted him.

Carlisle chose his words carefully "No, not exactly, though I will go on the record and say I oppose your promiscuity. I know you are alone and it provides you with some sort of companionship, though I will also argue it's the wrong kind. I just hope that you won't use these girls and then discard them so dishonorably. And I do wish you would be more careful." He paused. "Edward, you have undeniable control when it comes to your thirst, but even you have...your moments of weakness." Carlisle finished softly.

He didn't have to say the words for me to understand, and if I could blush, I'm sure I would have. My control was great, especially considering how close I often got to the female sex. However, without fail, during every sexual exploit, usually around the time of my orgasm, Alice would always (and I mean always) have a gruesome vision of me losing control and claiming the life of my partner. Alice loathed these visions, for obvious reasons, and never intentionally sought them out, but still they always appeared to her, if but for only a second, before I would regain my control and the horrible images would disappear. However, if the images lasted for more than a second and she became alarmed, she would hesitantly pass along the information to my family. I couldn't fault her for doing so, she was just looking out for me and the girl I happened to be with, but it was always incredibly humiliating to return home from such an excursion to find that my entire family knew the play by play...and exactly how long my lapse in control had lasted. Emmett and Rosalie were the worst at teasing me, while my parents acted like nothing had happened. We rarely spoke about sex, and it was a topic that I avidly avoided talking to my parents about, like most normal young men my age. I smiled inwardly at the thought; considering myself "normal", "young", and on a broader level a "man". Like I was some wretched mortal. Though I would concede I had the same urges as a "normal young man" my age, the label didn't quite fit.

"I'll try." I murmured, embarrassed more than I had been in a long time, more than when I heard Newton laugh at me. Stupid prick.

"That's all I'm asking, son. As long as you continue to make an honest effort, we will support you."

I nodded, "we", my family. They would all agree with Carlisle, they wouldn't turn their backs on me as long as I tried.

"Do they know about this?" I asked, remembering Alice's smile when she exited the room. I recalled it and decided it wasn't ominous, even she hadn't known my fate at that point, her thoughts would have given her away.

_She really had been sending me good luck._

I felt a slight pang of guilt for my earlier outburst. So I suppose all of my barriers were coming down, first my nerves, then fear, now remorse. The wall I had constructed around myself all those years ago was suddenly tumbling down around me, and I could do nothing to stop it. For the first time in a very long time, I felt completely helpless.

"No, well at least I haven't told them. I'm sure Alice has seen it by now." I nodded, picturing the gasp she would make as the vision would come into fruition in her mind, before relaying the news onto the others.

"So do we have an agreement then? You will try to change your behavior?" Carlisle pressed, watching me closely for any sign of reluctance.

I took in a deep breath. "Yes."

Carlisle rose from his chair and so did I. He embraced me compassionately and whispered in my ear. "Just try, son, please...just try."

Our conversation now over, I walked somberly up to my room, past the splintered staircase and shattered door, and resigned myself to the same position on my couch that I had taken to when I had come home early in the morning.

_Has it really only been that long?_

So much had changed in just the past few hours, that even my flawless mind was having difficulties comprehending it all. Forgetting all the drama, all of my theatrics, I thought back to my earlier comment to Emmett as I had ascended the stairs. "I died tonight." I had told him, unaware that my path would soon cascade rapidly downhill even further. If only I had known how fitting that statement really was.

All because of her. Bella. I hated her. I absolutely loathed her. Every strand of her hair, every breath, every bone in her fragile little body, I hated it all. Even what I had once found attractive, her soft skin, intoxicating scent, her sweet kiss, were all now repulsive to me. But most of all, I hated her damn unreadable mind. I wanted nothing more then to stalk back to her home and murder her in cold blood, right in front of her father's eyes if I had to. I seethed at the very thought of her for several minutes before I remembered the only thing that mattered. I had to stay with my family, and that most definitely would not happen if I carried out my sick fantasy. I had promised my father I would try. But I wanted two very different things...very, very badly.

I couldn't leave my family. As much as they aggravated me, I loved them dearly. They were my rock, the one thing that had kept me from completely going off the deep end. I needed them. As Carlisle's words rang in my ears, I knew what the right choice was. But what Carlisle was asking of me seemed like an awful lot. If my family was my rock, my lifestyle was my excitement, my reason to leave the house instead of sulking in my own self-pity. It would mean an entire attitude adjustment, a reversal of the life I had been living for decades. Old habits die hard, and I knew I would be in for one hell of a fight against my own demons.


	8. Answered

***Author's Note* Truly thank you to those who commented and for the well wishes. I really do appreciate it. (lvk1978 and SpunkRansom101)**

**I do think writing is good for me right now, so I'm going to try really hard to keep it going. I didn't anticipate posting another chapter so soon, especially since it seems most of my readers have disappeared (boo), but I already had some of this typed out and the rest just wrote itself. It's more dialogue heavy and I enjoyed writing it. I quite like Alice, she's feisty. :)**

**As to a Bella POV (KristenStewartFan), interesting idea, I'd never really given it much thought. For now I think I'll stick with Edward, but I'm not against the idea of following Bella for awhile. We'll see!**

**Everything belongs to Stephenie. Again, please remember I have no spell check so forgive any stupid errors. Reviews are wonderful! I've started writing the next chapter (which I'm also loving!). Not to bribe you (ok, maybe a little), but reviews give me incentive to finish it...**

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_No one ever takes the blame_

_But everyone is searching for a cure to the pain_

_Hanson - Strong Enough To Break_

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I had been on the couch for just a few minutes before I heard voices downstairs. My family had returned. I could hear everything as Carlisle somberly explained the ultimatum he had given me. They were all silent, though every mind was racing. They were all worried for me. They didn't want me to go. I felt another pang of guilt for even considering leaving them just so I could exact revenge on some weak little girl. I heard soft footsteps slowly, shyly, coming up the stairs, approaching my room. My first instinct was Esme, but it wasn't her.

_Alice._

I groaned, fixing my eyes on the ceiling, a harsh scowl forming on my lips. I had no choice but to see her, it's not like I could close my door and lock her out since it was currently resting in pieces against the remnants of my wall.

She hesitantly poked her head inside the door frame. I flicked my eyes to her briefly but refused to speak. She took it as a sign to enter, and came over to me, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, facing me with her tiny hands clasped tightly into a worried ball in her lap.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." She whispered. My face softened immediately. How could it not? She was being sincere and after all, through all of our fights, she was still my sister. My kindred spirit.

She bit her lip. "I never meant for anything like this to happen." She started softly, before suddenly throwing her arms around my neck, completely overcome by emotion. "So, so sorry." Came her muffled voice on my shoulder, rising from a whisper to a wail.

"I know, Alice. I'm not angry with you about this." And it was true, I knew if she had foreseen this particular outcome, she wouldn't have hatched her plan to begin with. I patted her back gently. "Though I'm still holding a grudge about the Newton thing." She let go of my neck and pulled away, smiling sheepishly.

"That is still pretty funny."

"Uh-huh, I'm sure." I replied sarcastically. "You're going to pay for that one."

"Good." She grinned. I raised an eyebrow, confused as to why she was looking forward to payback. My face softened as I heard the answer run through her mind, but I allowed her the chance to speak the words out loud.

"If you're getting revenge on me, that means you're still around." She explained. "I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave either, Alice. But this is going to be a very difficult process. Decades of habit won't change easily." I sighed and threw my arms under my head.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Try not to kill the Swan girl."

"I think you'll have to do better than that. Not murdering some innocent girl doesn't really scream 'I'm trying to win back your trust and respect', it just means your doing what you should be doing anyway, or I guess in your case not doing."

"She's hardly innocent, Alice. You should know."

"I put her up to it, Edward." She emphasized my name.

"She didn't have to do it, Alice." I countered, saying her name as pointedly as she had done mine. My mind flashed back to that night.

_Bella, matching my charm, taking me upstairs, kissing me...leaving me...Newton laughing..._

"Stupid prick." I growled.

"Uh?" She looked at me strangely.

_Whoops, said it out loud._

"Newton."

"Oh." A look of understanding swept across her features. "Yeah, he's getting quite a laugh out of that one."

"I can imagine."

"I think he's jealous, actually." She stated.

"Humph." I rolled my eyes.

"No, really. You got further with Bella than he has."

"Hardly, it was all a trick." I scoffed at the idea.

"Doesn't mean he's not jealous though." She was sure, I could tell by her tone. "Listen to his mind next time you're near, I bet you he is." She gloated and I watched as the vision of a jealous Newton flowed through her head.

"Take a bet against you? I think you're going crazy, darling." I teased.

We smiled, genuinely smiled, at each other. It was a nice feeling. I didn't want to break our camaraderie, but I still had some questions that needed answering.

I began with what I already knew. "So you knew I couldn't read her mind."

"Yes." She bopped her head in affirmation.

"And when she moved to town you made it a point to befriend her."

"Yes, though I think I would have liked to meet her anyways. I do like her."

I continued, ignoring her last statement of betrayal...

_Humph, liking the enemy..._

"Though you lied to me and told me you had never met her."

"Yes, you would have suspected something if I had met her and not told you."

The calmness in her answers and her matter of fact tone were keeping my anger down as I tried to hold back my explosive temper, reminding myself that she had been sorry.

"You convinced her to seduce me and then leave me horny to embarrass me."

"Yes." A small giggle broke through her calm exterior. Likewise, I could feel my temper doing the same thing. I took a deep breath to center myself.

"You never actually saw a vision of the two of us as a couple."

"No!" She called out, startling me. "I did, that part is true. You could have been."

I rolled my eyes again, of course she would have, she was always trying to warp my life to fit her perfect image. And then a thought dawned on me, the same one I had thought before when I was too busy trying to kill her to ask it.

_Geez, I sure am trying to kill a lot of people lately..._I mused to myself, before getting back to the task at hand...

"Fine, but that also means you saw a vision of me screwing her up against a wall."

Alice bit her lip. "She had me worried for a minute there. She lost some of her resolve."

"Really?" I had expected her to disagree with me.

"Briefly, Edward." She emphasized, noticing how my eyes had lit up.

"Ha! Ha HA! I knew it!" I practically crowed in delight. Oh, I was so going to use it against her. I wasn't sure how, but I knew it would come in handy some day. She HAD wanted me.

"It doesn't mean anything, Edward. It only lasted for a second and then disappeared." Alice interjected.

"I don't care! It doesn't matter, she wanted me!" I was definitely gloating. "Ha, she's not as big and bad as she wants to be."

"She's not big and bad at all, Edward! She's just a helpless little girl, and don't you forget that!" She had raised her voice. I took in another deep breath, steadying myself. I had let my ego take over once again. It was going to be a hard time trying to keep myself and check.

_For the family...so I can stay..._I reminded myself.

I nodded my head sheepishly and sighed. She gave me a sympathetic smile.

"So what are we going to do about you and our little Miss Swan?" She murmured, seemingly to herself, though I answered anyway.

"Keep me from ripping out her throat." I deadpanned. "That seems the logical thing to do."

"Really, Edward, when did you become such a Negative Nancy?" She chided me.

I didn't answer.

_She has a point._

She averted her eyes and pretended to be fascinated by the hem of her skirt.

"I think you should apologize to her."

"Ha. Now I know you're crazy." I chuckled.

"I'm not joking."

This sent me sitting straight up on the couch. Her eyes quickly darted to meet mine, as calm and resolved as mine were wild and angry.

"Why the fuck should I apologize to her?" My voice was louder than I had intended. But if Carlisle brought out the nerves in me, then Alice surely brought out my temper.

"Tsk tsk. Didn't Esme already scold you once today for language?" She reprimanded.

"Fuck off." I scowled. "Really, why the hell should I apologize to her? Seems like it should be the other way around."

"Really?" Her voice raised a few decibels. "You really think that? Ugh, you ARE a pig!" She punched me on the arm. I rubbed the spot. She was quite strong. She smiled smugly and I quit rubbing, not wanting to give her any more satisfaction. I sat my jaw in a hard line, refusing to back down.

"She used me!" I bellowed

"Wasn't that YOUR plan? She just beat you to it, you stupid fucking jackass." She was screaming at me now, matching the level of my voice, though in a high soprano that I'm sure only vampires, and dogs, could hear.

"Tsk tsk. Language." I mocked back to her as obnoxiously as possible. She ignored me, choosing to continue her tirade instead.

"You were going to take that poor girl upstairs, fuck her, and then leave with no intentions of ever speaking to her again. And she knew it. That is despicable, my dear dumbass brother, and yes, I do think she is owed an apology for it..." I opened my mouth, prepared to argue again, but she cut me off.

"Plus, it would impress Carlisle." That shut me up. I narrowed my eyes.

"Explain."

"You need to show Carlisle that you're serious about changing, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, think about it, brainiac. You taking the initiative, showing some remorse for your actions. I'm sure it would make a much better impression than you just 'not ripping out her throat'". She mocked me, even using air quotes.

_I hate air quotes._

"I fucking hate air quotes." I growled.

"I know, you dick." And then she stuck her tongue out at me.

"Real mature, Alice, real mature."

"Ha. Says you? That's rich."

I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off once again.

"Oh! I'll help you!" She clapped her hands excitedly.

"Help with what?" I demanded, utterly confused by her sudden change in demeanor. Then I saw it, the vision dancing behind her eyes. She was going to go with me to Bella's. "Moral support" or some bullshit like that.

"No, no way Alice. I already said no. I'm not doing that."

"C'mon, Edward, put your pride aside for once. You know it would impress Carlisle." She practically sang that last bit.

"Absolutely not." I held firm, but ultimately, I knew she was right. And she definitely knew it. She grinned knowingly.

"I'll be waiting for you downstairs. I'll go with you, for moral support." She actually used the wording. With that she blissfully skipped out of the room. I stared at her retreating back and sighed. I contemplated just ignoring her and staying in my room, but that would just mean she would come up later and harass me again. I sighed loudly.

"I give up." I muttered as I got up and sulked downstairs.

"C'mon, let's get this over with." I moaned as I rounded the corner into the living room where I knew she stood, waiting.

Esme and Carlisle, who had been in deep conversation on the couch (about me, of course) looked up as I came into view. Esme's face was worried and I gave her a weak smile in an attempt to calm her nerves. I really did love my mother and hated to see her worry over me. Alice squealed in excitement and ran over to my side, grabbing my hand, and practically dragging me towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Esme quickly asked before we were out of sight.

"We're going over to Bella's." Alice responded jubilantly. "Edward is going to apologize."

I caught just a brief glimpse of Carlise's proud face before Alice hauled me out the door.

_Well, I guess this is a step in the right direction. A very, very painful one._


	9. Apologized

***Author's Note* Well, I'm going to be honest, after two chapters in a row with very poor interest, I was discouraged in writing this one. I'm starting to wonder if it was worth my time to continue the story in the first place. (End whiny rambling...sorry, I've been feeling kind of down lately.)**

**Sorry about the wait to those few still reading - I do love you! Hope you like it, it's a little longer than the other chapters so far. I was finally able to find inspiration to write when I saw the new movie pictures that were released on the official New Moon website. Wow...Team Edward all the way.**

**And, I've added a song to my profile that has been another inspiration for this story so far - "Devil Inside" by Utada. Once the story progresses, I'll try and add more songs, but for now I think this is a perfect fit (especially for Chapter 6: Fantasized). Listen to it on your own or while reading, either way it's a fantastic song and I think it enhances the story. Agree?**

**As always, characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I have no spell checker. And reviews are wonderful.**

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_Yes I am alone, but then again I always was_

_As far back as I can tell_

_I think maybe it's because_

_Because you were never really real to begin with_

_I just made you up to hurt myself_

_Nine Inch Nails - Only_

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_Fuck. My. Life._

I was behind the wheel of my Volvo with Alice sitting beside me in the passenger seat, chatting excitedly about the trip to Europe she was planning with Jasper. Normally, this wouldn't be such an ordeal. However, at that particular moment, I wasn't driving to clear my head, or driving to a party or any other place of interest. No, on that day, I was driving through Forks on the way to Chief Swan's house to apologize to his daughter for attempting (and failing) to fuck her the previous night, an act that I felt no remorse for. In fact, I was pretty certain I was the one owed an apology, since she was the one who had ultimately played me. But sometimes life's funny that way, and I found myself en route to Bella's house in a pathetic attempt to show my father that I was willing to change. 'Pathetic' being the key word, as that's essentially how my existence was beginning to feel.

Normally, I would be driving at a break-neck speed but I had started off going the normal speed limit. Delaying the inevitable, I suppose. Strangely enough, the longer I drove, the faster I got. I concluded the more Alice rambled on about her upcoming vacation, the more strength my foot was putting into mashing down the gas pedal.

_Hmm, isn't that odd?_

I pondered it curiously to myself.

Alice, after listing off all the cities they would be visiting, had begun to describe, in detail, their stay in Paris. In absolute painful, tortuous, detail. It was a wonder I hadn't snapped earlier.

"Can you just shut up, Alice? Seriously!" My temper had finally flared. "I don't care where you and Jasper are going. Besides, you've already been all over Europe. Several times." I emphasized.

She sniffed, obviously offended.

"I'm sorry, I thought maybe you'd like to take your mind off your impending task. I was just trying to lighten the mood."

"Yeah, well, hearing about how you'll gaze into Jasper's eyes while standing under the Eiffel Tower doesn't really make me feel any better."

_'I could tell you about the amazing sex we'll have afterward...'_

"Don't you dare!" I snapped. She had only thought it, but I didn't want to hear anymore. Spoken or otherwise. She eyed me suspiciously.

"Are you nervous?"

"No." And it wasn't a lie. I was aggravated, bitter, angry...but not nervous. "I just don't believe I'm the one that should be apologizing." I muttered.

"Wah wah wah!" She whined. "I get it, Edward. But you're still going to have to do it, whether you agree or not. It's for the best."

I set my mouth in a hard line. Better to keep my mouth shut at a time like this then fuel her on; I had had my fill of fighting Alice for awhile.

"Always so much drama." I heard her mumble. I clamped my jaw down even harder. There was no use in arguing with her, stubborn little freak.

_For the best...for the best..._

I repeated over and over in my head.

I pulled the Volvo into the Swan's driveway and leaned back in my seat.

_Defeat, oh, what a horrible, degrading feeling._

It was getting late in the day as the afternoon had drifted away into the evening, but the Chief's police cruiser was still absent. It was a Saturday and I figured the fish were biting. That was good at least, I wouldn't have to see him too. I had nothing against Chief Swan, I just didn't particularly want to apologize for trying to seduce and defile his daughter while he was standing right there. Somehow, I didn't think that would go over too well.

I cut the engine but it roared back to life as quickly as it had died. Alice's hand was already off my keys and reaching for the CD case I kept in the car.

"What are you doing, Alice?"

"I want to listen to music while I wait." She spoke like the answer was obvious.

"I thought you were coming? Moral support and whatnot." I pointed out.

"I did. I rode over with you. I made sure you got here. After that, it's all you, dear brother. Have fun." She already had her eyes fixated on my CD collection. I stared at her for several moments, debating whether it was worth it to even ask. I pinched the end of my nose in frustration, easing my temper from erupting yet again.

"Ok, fine...but what am I supposed to say to her?"

"'I'm sorry' seems like a good place to start." She shrugged, pulling a CD out of the case for closer inspection.

_Nope, wasn't worth it to ask._

I sighed loudly, exiting the car. I approached the doorstep and looked back at Alice. She was still rifling through my CDs and I could hear her muttering softly to herself.

"Crap...garbage...ugh, you like this?"

_Some help she is. Moral support, my ass._

_Well, might as well just get it over with._

I brought my hand up and rapped quickly on the door. My ears immediately picked up every movement as Bella descended the staircase and shuffled to the door. She didn't bother to look out the window and see who it was and the lock wasn't even latched.

_Not much danger in a small town like Forks._ I thought to myself. _Well, except for the revenge hungry vampire standing on the front step. You know, the one who had already envisioned your brutal death once today._

She really was very lucky that my current intent was not murder. She wouldn't have stood a chance. I quickly shook the thoughts from my head. I had to stay focused...I had to be good.

She opened the door and her eyes widened immediately as she took me in. She looked the same as she had earlier that day. Same old clothes, hair still hanging loose. Still nothing special about her, except for her silent mind.

I stood waiting for her to speak. My face was devoid of emotion, eyes deadened, jaw in a tight line. I looked utterly bored to be there.

She, on the other hand, looked furious.

"What the hell are YOU doing here?" She demanded.

_Wow, feisty today._

I kept my face steady.

"I'm here to apologize." I monotoned.

"Apology not accepted." She scoffed at me and slammed the door in my face. I felt my jaw release it's tight grip and my mouth fell open on it's own accord.

_What. The. Fuck. She actually slammed the door in my face! In MY face. Unacceptable. Oh, she's in trouble now._

I raised my fist and pounded, loud enough to get my point across, but holding back just enough so I didn't accidentally drive my knuckles through the wood. I had already broken one door today, no need to make it two.

No answer. I pounded again. And again. And again. Finally, she flung the door open, a look of sheer annoyance on her face. I smiled sarcastically.

"I said," I began, my words cutting sharply, "I came to apologize."

"And I said," she was talking to me like I was five years old, "That your apology isn't accepted." She went to slam the door in my face again but I beat her to it, slamming my hand against it and pushing it open easily. Now her mouth fell open as I brushed casually past her into the small house.

"I don't remember inviting you in." She hissed.

"Hmm, that's strange..." I drawled nonchalantly, rolling my eyes. "I could have sworn I heard you say, 'Oh, it's so good to see you! Won't you please come in?'" I was playing with her, loving the control. I strolled into the living room, viewing the various pictures that lined the walls. Most were of her when she was a child.

"Get out." She spat angrily.

"Nope." I let the 'p' sound pop, as I continued walking around the house, looking at the pictures that lined the walls and avoiding the deathly stare I'd be faced with once I turned around.

"I came to apologize, and I'm not leaving until you accept it." I picked up a small picture frame from an end table. It was a picture of Bella and her father, Bella proudly holding up a fishing line with a small fish dangling on the end.

"I don't recall you actually ever saying you were sorry." She had stalked over to me and reached for the picture, trying to snatch it out of my hand. I whisked it away just out of her reach, holding it just inches above her head.

"You didn't really give me a chance, now did you?" I taunted.

She paused, crossing her arms over her chest, waiting for me to speak.

_Just get it over with, Cullen._ I thought. Even my mind seemed to be against me.

"I'm sorry." My tone reeked of sarcasm.

"Nope, still not accepted."

"What?" _What the hell is she doing?_ "You...you have to!" I bellowed. I lowered the picture placing it back on the end table. I crossed my arms over my chest, mirroring her defensive pose.

"Oh, well, if that's the case," She laced her voice with a sarcasm that rivaled my own, "Then, yes, I accept it, of course."

"You don't sound very sincere, Bella." I snarled.

"I'll mean it when you mean it, how about that?" She was inches away from me, angling her head upwards in an effort to appear taller, staring me straight in the eyes.

_She's going up against me? Really? She really has a death wish, doesn't she?_

We both stood motionless, staring the other down. I heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, the Police Chief's thoughts entering my head. He was back.

_Oh, shit._

"Bella, I'm home. Why's the door wide open?" Chief Swan called from the hallway. "You'll let bugs in." I smirked. Bugs should be the least of his worries. "I saw a car in the driveway, do we have company?" The Chief entered the living room and was startled to see me standing there in what appeared to be a face-off with his daughter.

"Sorry, Dad." Bella didn't break her stare as she addressed her father, and neither did I. "We had company, but he's leaving now." She raised an eyebrow at me.

_Does she really think I would give in that easily?_

"I don't believe we've met..." The Chief probed, utterly confused by the scene before him.

"Edward...Edward Cullen." I broke. I had to face the Chief, as to not raise any suspicions. I couldn't let him know what was going on. I plastered a fake friendly smile on my face and took a few steps towards him. I stole a look at Bella as I passed by her. The look on her face indicated that she had thought she had won our little stare-off. I stopped my mind from conceding that she had indeed won, turning my attention instead to her father.

_Besides, that loss shouldn't count, I call interference._

"You're one of Dr. Cullen's boys, aren't you?" The Chief held out his hand and I shook it briefly. He pulled back quickly at the touch of my icy grip.

"Yes, sir, it's a pleasure to meet you, Chief Swan." I scanned his mind - no signs of knowing my past. The girls of Forks were good at keeping their escapades secret. I was glad that my illustrious player reputation had not gotten around to the Chief. If it had, I could be certain that I would not be standing in the Chief's living room facing him, but rather the barrel of his gun.

"You too, son. And call me Charlie." I smirked. He liked me already. Bella must have noticed too because she stormed off towards the kitchen in quite a little funk. Charlie didn't seem to notice and continued speaking to me. "You're father's a good man, in fact, I had a real nice talk with him the other day."

"Oh?" I heard running water coming from the kitchen but something sounded a little off. I strained to hear, only half-listening to what Charlie was saying.

"Spoke to him about the new wing they're trying to build on to the hospital." I nodded my head, though my attention was elsewhere.

_What is she doing in the other room?_

Charlie continued, oblivious to my disinterest. "Mentioned Mrs. Cullen was heading up the planning for the charity banquet for it, right?"

"Yes, sir. She's very excited about it." I feigned enthusiasm. I had already promised Esme that I would act as her assistant planner for the event, or "happy helper" as she had called it. Happy, my ass. I was only doing it because she had asked me to, and because everyone else had conflicting plans. Of course, I would be the only one in my family with absolutely nothing to do over the summer. I really did have a pathetic existence.

"Lot of work for one person." Charlie continued to ramble.

"Yes sir, Esme could always use some more volunteers." I said absentmindedly, still trying to pick out what exactly she was doing in the kitchen. It sounded like she was washing the same glass over and over again. Must be trying to hear our conversation. I smirked. I just had to mess with her, just a little bit.

"Real good cause that is, that hospital could use some more space..."

I cut him off as politely as possible, pointing at a picture on the wall behind his head of Bella as a child.

"Is that a photo of Bella, sir?"

Charlie turned to look. I heard her stop what she was doing in the kitchen. So she had been eavesdropping.

"Yep, sure is." He beamed.

"Strong family resemblance, she looks just like you." That was a lie, Bella wasn't the slightest bit masculine. But if I knew anything about girls, and I certainly did, then this was NOT what Bella had wanted to hear. Sure enough, the sound of shattering glass coming from the kitchen confirmed my suspicions.

_That would teach her to try and eavesdrop on me._

"You alright in there, Bells?" Charlie called out. His thoughts shifting away from our conversation and toward his daughter. He didn't even bother to go and check on her and was actually more curious about what she had broken. His mind confirmed that he wasn't being cruel, just very used to her clumsiness.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just dropped a glass." Came her annoyed, and obviously embarrassed reply.

I did the best I could to hold back the grin threatening to take over my face.

_Ha, I'd gotten to her._

Not wanting to blow my good guy cover by completely doubling over in laughter, I took the opportunity to excuse myself. I had done all I could do. I had tried to apologize, it wasn't my fault if she didn't want to accept it.

"Well, sir, it's getting late and I ought to be getting back home. I'll send your regards to my parents?"

"Yeah, sure, tell 'em I said 'hi'. It was nice to meet you, Edward."

"You too, Charlie." I paused, I really couldn't help myself. "Goodbye, Bella!" I called out in a singsong tone. "You really should keep that door closed, don't want any more pests getting in!"

"Bye." Came her sharp reply back. She didn't leave the kitchen. Charlie looked towards the room sternly, disappointed in her apparent lack of manners.

I left the house hurriedly, practically throwing myself into the car just a split-second before I started laughing hysterically.

"Oh, Alice." I could barely choke out anything, I was laughing too hard. "You should have been there...so fucking hilarious!"

"I'm sure you're happy for all the wrong reasons." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Absolutely."

"And I know you could have been a lot nicer to her."

"Wait, what?" My mood immediately soured. "She's the one that slammed the fucking door in my face!"

"Can't say that I blame her." She muttered.

I started the car and quickly pulled out of the driveway, wanting to get as far away from the Swan girl as possible. I had fulfilled my mission, no need to see her ever again. Alice was still talking.

"Not much of an apology." She complained, but then paused, mulling it over. "Well, I suppose it could have been worse. If I had gone in with you, she would have ignored you completely and just tried to talk to me. This way, she was forced to at least hear your half-assed attempt at an apology. See, I do know what I'm doing after all." She gloated.

_Her and her stupid visions are really starting to irritate me._

"Anyway, I think there's someone else I want you to meet." She was talking excitedly again. "I'm not sure who she is, the vision's a little hazy at this point, but I think by next week..." I cut her off.

"Alice, just, do me a favor, ok? Unless you see anything life threatening...or you see me fucking that supermodel I mentioned last night," I added hopefully. "Don't tell me. Stay out of my future. Please. After this whole debacle with the Swan girl, I don't know if I can handle much more psychic bu-" I started to say 'bullshit' but held my tongue, not wanting to offend her. "Er..." I tried to find a better word. "Um...no, I think bullshit pretty much sums it up." I nodded.

_Well, sometimes the worst word is the right word._

"You know I can't help it. Things just come to me." She snapped.

_Yep, I made her angry. Nothing new there._

"I know, I know. Just, don't go looking for things. And if you do see something anyway, just don't tell me." I whined.

"Fine. She replied dryly, obviously put out by my lack of appreciation for her talent. "You stay out of my head then too."

"It works the same way, Alice." I sighed. "I don't mean to listen in."

"I know that, just try and steer clear as much as possible."

"Why? Any more diabolical plans in the works?" I demanded. She hesitated and I heard the answer before she could speak it.

"Spite? That's it?" I laughed. "Because I'm asking you not to watch me, you're asking the same of me, out of spite?"

"And because it's fucking annoying, Edward." She growled. I stopped laughing.

"Fine." I hissed. "Deal?"

"Deal."

The rest of the ride back was silent until we pulled into the driveway. I hoped she was in a better mood, I had a favor to ask.

"I don't think I can face Carlisle right now." I began slowly, gauging her reaction. She was listening, that was a good sign. "I'm not up for another discussion and I know he'll want to know how it went at the Swan's. Would you mind relaying the events to him?" I paused, taking into consideration that my apology perhaps wasn't as sincere as it could have been. "And maybe making it sound a little better than what it really was?"

Alice gave me a sympathetic smile. "Yes, I can do that for you. Anything to help you stay." I smiled brightly, reaching over and planting a light kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you, Alice." I pulled the car into the garage and we both got out.

"You know, I really am too good to you." She mused. I chuckled as we walked into the house.

"Sure, sure. You know I won't fight you on that when you're about to do me a favor." I replied, though she was...when the situation suited her, at least. We parted ways; Alice on her way up to Carlisle's study as I went in search of Emmett, finding him sprawled on the couch in the living room watching television.

"Hey, Emmett?" I questioned, entering the room.

"Yeah." He didn't take his eyes off the baseball game on tv. His thoughts were full of snide remarks about the game, harping on the fact that our games were always a lot better, and how he wished they could televise "real" (ie. vampire) baseball games. I smiled at the thought.

"I know we hunted not too long ago, but would you mind terribly accompanying me on a trip tonight? I just need to get away for awhile." I asked. Emmett finally tore his eyes away from the screen, eying me briefly, noting my disheveled state. I'm sure if I could have felt exhaustion, I certainly would have. It had been a long day. He nodded his head.

"Yeah, sure. When do you want to go?"

"As soon as possible." My eyes practically pleaded with him. I wanted to be gone before Alice was finished talking with Carlisle.

"Yeah, ok. Let me just tell Rose." Emmett got off the couch and jogged up the staircase.

"Perfect." I sighed gratefully and strolled outside into the night air to wait for Emmett. It would feel good to hunt, to regain some shred of the normalcy that had seemed to disappear before me in just the span of one day...to be wild and free, giving in only to instinct. Yes, it would be a nice escape...especially from her.

_Relax, Cullen._ I thought to myself. _You never have to talk to her again._

I smiled contentedly, gazing up at the stars that lit the night sky.


	10. Wondered

***Author's Note* Not much to say other then I've had things to do lately and I wasn't very motivated getting this chapter out, so sorry for the wait! This chapter sets up future ones...lots of dialogue with less description. I liked the way it flowed, so I hope it's readable like this!**

**And, I wanted to ask your opinion on...lemons. There is the potential for lemons in "The Good Girl", but I'm still on the fence as to whether I want to go that far. The story itself won't change, just a few future scenes will be described in detail instead of just alluding to what happened. Think it over, let me know, and I'll try to make up my mind. Beware, I didn't say who the lemons would involve...just keep that in mind!**

**Also, I mentioned last chapter that I had posted a mood song on my profile (which nobody seemed to care...but I do haha). Well, I've taken it a step further and now each chapter has it's own song. I updated each chapter page to include a lyric from that song at the top, and all songs are already linked on my profile. I really hope that you will check them out, as I put a lot of thought into each chapter and picked a corresponding song based on either lyrics, tone, or both. Listen to them quietly in the background, or on their own, and let me know what you think. Good stuff.**

**Still contemplating doing a BPOV, but the timing's not right yet. Maybe in future chapters.**

**So, lots of stuff I'd love to have feedback on! That's a not-so-subtle hint for reviews.**

**The usual: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I have no spell checker, check my profile for "mood music", and reviews are very loved.**

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_Everybody in this place can up and move away_

_For all I care this town's already dead and empty_

_I'm told that I'm a victim of obsession_

_That's what my friends say_

_Oh I'm a fool for having ever let her tempt me_

_Phantom Planet - Always On My Mind_

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The sky was it's usual dismal gray, but the sun was still visible slowly appearing seemingly out of the line of trees on the horizon. Emmett and I had hunted well into the morning and were now sitting on an outcropping of rock that surveyed practically the whole forest. We were talking back and forth, about nothing in particular, just enjoying the light early morning breeze and each others company. Emmett was very much my big brother and it was nice to spend time with him, bonding and all that crap.

I was listening to Emmett, in a half-assed sort of way, as he replayed an encounter he and Rosalie had had with a local cashier. Lucky for me, my flawless mind made even half-assed listening acceptable. The other half of my mind was miles away, where I knew it shouldn't have been. Though I had gone hunting as a way of escaping, it seemed I had carelessly left part of my mind back in Forks...at the Swan house...with her.

"So, I'm standing there and this girl at the checkout counter is still trying to flirt with me, and Rose is getting so pissed because, well besides the obvious flirting, see, well, she had wanted to hurry up and get home and...you know...anyway ..."

I couldn't help but smile at Emmett's brash story. Normally it would depress me, but after my dealing with the Swan girl, I was in an exceptionally good mood. For me, that is.

The Swan girl...my mind clicked back into place. I refused to say her name, thinking that somehow referring to her as 'the Swan girl', or just plain 'her', would make me sound less obsessed. Less like a creepy stalker or something. Calling her the Swan girl distanced me from her, she was just another random girl. So inconsequential to me, that I couldn't even remember her name. No affect on me whatsoever.

_Did I mention I'm also a liar?_

"So she finally finished ringing us up and we start to walk away. And you can imagine how pissed Rose is..."

The half of me listening nodded at Emmett, the other half, the one still stuck stubbornly back in Forks, paid the first half no mind.

_I wonder if the Swan girl told her father what we had been talking about? Surely not, I can't imagine her telling Chief Swan that she had tried to seduce me at a shitty house party, but she would have had to have told him something..._

"Well, apparently, this was some ballsy girl, because, see, she didn't give us a receipt and while we were gathering up our bags she wrote her phone number on it, but Rose saw it..."

"Oh no!" I groaned, my mouth going one way, my mind another.

_Certainly he would have asked what we talked about, I wonder what her lie had been, probably nothing very creative..._

"Yeah...so the girl runs up to us on the way out, to give us the receipt, and Rose just casually sticks out her heel - you know how dangerous those things can be anyway, and trips the girl. Falls flat on her face..."

I gasp in disbelief.

_God, I sound like a girl. Speaking of a girl..._

_She seemed pretty mad, serves her right though. Still...I can't believe she actually stood up to me, I mean, if she wasn't so infuriating that would have been kind of cool. Kind of hot, actually..._

"I would've helped her up, but you know how mad Rose would have been if I did..."

I nodded again.

_No, the Swan girl is not hot. I mean, ok, she was kind of...cute...in a plain sort of way, but definitely not hot. Though it was kind of hot when she was seducing me...well, when I thought she was into me at least. Not so much when she left me standing at attention in the middle of Newton's bedroom...stupid prick..._

"So, we saw her the other day, and her nose is all taped up and she's got this huge black eye, I mean, man, it looks sick. Which is a shame, because she was pretty cute...hey, but uh, don't tell Rosalie I said that..."

"I won't."

_I wonder how many guys she had done that to before...probably a lot, she seemed to know what she was doing..._

"Thanks, bro." He let out a sigh of relief.

Another nod from me.

_She had to have been a big slut back in...well, wherever the hell she came from...if Alice hadn't have interfered, I would have screwed her at some point, that's for sure..._

"So, Carlisle told us about what he talked to you about."

I snapped my eyes up to meet his. He finally got my entire attention. Of course, the only way to do it would be to make the conversation about me.

_Narcissist, thy name is Edward fucking Cullen._

My demeanor immediately shifted, the faraway look on my face hardened and my smug smile faded into a grimace as my eyes narrowed.

"That really sucks." He said softly.

"Yeah." I wasn't about to disagree with that.

"I'd hate to see you go." He turned his head away from me as he said it, not wanting to appear too sentimental.

"I don't want to go."

_Aww...we're about to have a 'moment'._

"I really hope you're going to try." He turned back to look at me, this time locking his eyes with mine, almost pleading with me.

"I already have been. I apologized to...her...yesterday."

"Really? That's great!"

He looked so pleased..._I probably shouldn't mention how ineffective or insincere that debacle had been._

"Yeah." _Yeah, best not to bring that up._

"What else do you suppose you'll do?"

The question stumped me.

"I hadn't really given it much thought."

I was so concerned with things that I shouldn't be doing, like murdering pigheaded girls, that I hadn't thought about other things I could proactively do to win back my father's trust.

_At what point had I turned into such a self-absorbed asshole? I know the answer to that..._

"Did he say you'd have to give up...you know..." He trailed off.

"Sex?" I questioned Emmett. _What is with him today? Since when is he a prude? _"Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Yeah, I was trying to be polite."

I laughed.

"And I know it's kind of a touchy subject with you."

I stopped laughing. So that's the reason for his evasiveness. Everyone must think I'm such an emo little cry baby.

_Well...you kind of are, Cullen..._

"No, he didn't. He doesn't like it, but he didn't prohibit it. Why?"

"No reason."

He wasn't quick enough, I could hear it before he was able to get it from his mind.

"You're going to Denali with Rosalie in a few days." I monotoned, keeping any hint of emotion out of my voice.

He nodded.

Tanya was the only woman I had ever slept with on more than one occasion, and it had become routine for us to rendezvous whenever either of us were in town. I considered it, for a split second.

_Maybe I should call her up, take my mind off of things...girls...one in particular..._

But was it really worth it? After all, I knew how it always ended with us...

"No, Emmett."

"Fair enough."

_He's really going to just leave it at that?_

"So this will be your last year at Forks High, huh?"

_Subject change, I guess so._

"Finally a mighty senior." He winked. He could be a major douche like that sometimes.

"Yeah."

"Excited?"

_What the hell is he talking about?_

"It's not the first time I've graduated, Emmett..."

He shook his head, obviously I was missing the point.

"Yeah, but you'll be able to travel afterward, get away from this place..."

No, he was the one missing the point.

"Honestly, I don't have very much to look forward to after graduation. I'm easiest the youngest looking, I can only pass for a college aged student for so long. Besides, we'll probably be moving again soon and I'll have to start all over again."

"Hey, we all have to, bro."

_Oh, no he didn't._

"But only I have to do it alone." I spat out. I regretted it the moment I said it. I didn't like showing my insecurities. Emmett smiled sadly. He felt sorry for me.

"Yeah, I guess that's right. Don't worry, it'll happen sometime, you'll find someone..."

But I had already stopped listening. I got up from the rock and headed back towards the way we came.

"You ready to go?" I called over my shoulder.

He silently got off of the rock and followed me back into the forest. We barely spoke on the ride back to the house.

Our conversation had depressed me. Reminded that I was still very much alone, no matter how many girls I had sex with.

Doomed to forever walk the world alone.

Seriously, I should really consider dying my hair black. Start wearing lots of leather and mesh and chains...

_I do look good in black..._

Still, at least one thing Emmett had said had caught my interest for a reason other than depressing me. Perhaps it was a sign...do the thing that doesn't depress you. Seemed like a good idea to me, but then again, these things always do at the time.

"Hey, Emmett." I said as we turned into the long driveway leading up to the house. "Tell Tanya to give me a call when you see her?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure thing." He seemed a little taken aback by my change of heart.

We pulled up to the house to see Alice sitting on the front steps, a look of amusement dancing over her features. She was blocking my thoughts again. A low growl escaped my lips as I got out of the car and headed towards her. Emmett looked apprehensive, unsure whether he should go ahead and hold me back, or wait until I lunged at her to restrain me.

"I'm not going to attack her, calm down." I muttered as we got closer. I saw Emmett relax. "She's just hiding something from me." As I said it, the grin on her face widened even further.

"Sure am!"

"What? What did you see?" I concentrated hard on her mind, trying to pick something out.

"First of all, stay out of my thoughts." She stood up and crossed her arms. "Second, you told me not to tell you my visions unless they involve impending death or supermodels wanting to fuck you. The vision I had wasn't about either, so I'm not telling you. Though it is rather humorous, to me at least. Not so much for you."

"What the hell are you hiding from me?" I demanded.

"We had a deal, sweetie. I'm not telling you what I saw...and you need to get out of my head." She growled playfully, although she meant every word. "But it really doesn't matter, anyway," She continued. "You'll find out soon enough...though I would like to go on record and say that I had absolutely nothing to do with this one."

"What?" I hissed.

"Carlisle will want to speak to you tonight when he gets back from the hospital...and that's all I'm saying." She was smirking. Ugh, so annoying.

_And now Carlisle wants to have another talk with me? What the hell for?_

"Don't worry, he's not mad." She said, seeing the panic on my face.

"Then what is it?

"You'll find out in a few hours!" She crowed.

She was messing with me on purpose, annoying little sadistic freak that she was.

"Whatever." I muttered as I brushed past her and entered the house. If she wasn't going to tell me, then I wasn't going to waste my time trying to get it out of her. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what she was seeing. Why did Carlisle want to speak with me again? She said he wasn't mad...then what?


	11. Screwed

***Author's Note* Well, didn't mean to get this one up so quickly, but here it is. I guess this is what happens when you're (still) jobless. And, where oh where did all the readers go...? Do I really have to beg for reviews every chapter? Stick with me readers, please, I've got some good stuff planned for this baby. And I love feedback - though I know where the story is going to end up, your input will definitely help along the way! Much love to those few still around, your comments really make my day! And lvk1978, seriously...your reviews crack me up every time! I adore your various names for Edward (just seeing 'Dickheadward' turns me into a giggling mess)! Besides making me laugh, your observations are always spot on.**

**I went back through each chapter and did a few minor corrections, mainly fixing spelling errors and adding italics to some inner dialogue to hopefully make the story a little more readable. In doing so, I also found out that there is a built-in spellchecker on this site. Yeah, I'm slow. So I now have spellchecker! That being said, I know there are still mistakes out there as I suck at proofreading, so please bear with me and my incompetence.**

**Anyway, on with the show. I really like this chapter and I hope you do too. I'd love to hear from you - comments, musings, predictions, criticisms, "please update"s - I don't discriminate, I love them all!**

**Characters belong to Stephenie and music for each chapter can be found on my profile.**

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_Gotta chip upon your shoulder_

_I just knocked it off_

_Show me what you gonna do_

_I ain't bout to run_

_You have just run out of ammunition_

_Shootin' blanks now_

_You son of a gun_

_Janet Jackson featuring Carly Simon - Son Of A Gun (I Betcha Think This Song Is About You)_

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I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, head cocked slightly to the side, staring at the door to my room. Or rather, what was left of my door. The largest piece of what was once my lovely bedroom door was now perched precariously on it's hinges, threatening to fall off (again) at the slightest touch. I reached my hand out gently to try and push it shut.

Thud.

Straight to the floor. I sighed, picked it back up, bent the metal hinges slightly, and carefully balanced the door (again) on top of the hinges, trying a new angle. As soon as I took my hand away...

Thud.

(Again.)

Fuck this.

I stalked over to my couch and collapsed dramatically onto the cushions, throwing a leg over the top of the couch and an arm over my face.

Of course, I knew this wasn't the correct way to reattach a door. I wasn't a complete moron. But to do it the right way, I would need to buy a new door. And I wasn't about to go into town to get one. Into town...where there were people...and teenagers...teenagers who no doubt already knew about my humiliating situation at the Newton's house.

_Yeah, I can deal with a broken door for a few more years._

"Lookin' good there, stud!"

_What the hell?_

I moved my arm slightly. Jasper was standing at the door, grinning like a motherfucker. But why? I moved my arm over more and took a moment to survey my current state. I was naked. Except for my socks.

_Oh, right, I was in the process of changing when I realized I didn't have a door._

And my naked body was thrown haphazardly on my couch in a sort of spread eagle fashion.

_Oh yeah, I look fucking hot._

"Eww, gross! Put some clothes on!" Alice exclaimed as she came up behind Jasper, peering into the room to get a look at what was holding him up, like I was some sort of sideshow freak.

_OK, a door would be nice._

"Yeah...well...fuck off."

"Good one." Jasper cackled as Alice dragged him away and down the hall, one hand on his arm, the other shielding her eyes.

_Great, thanks guys...exactly what my self-esteem needs right now._

I hauled myself off the couch and grabbed a pair of boxers, jeans and a t-shirt and yanked them on. No privacy at all in this place. Especially without a door. Maybe I couldn't wait a year after all.

I flopped back onto the couch, in the same position I had been in.

_But acceptable now. I am clothed._

I sighed. The answer was right in front of me. I couldn't ignore the truth. I needed to go buy a new door. There was a hardware store in town that stayed open until 6 pm on Sundays. And I seriously doubted that many teenagers hung out at the hardware store, especially on a Sunday, an hour before closing. I should be safe.

Soon enough, I was speeding into the store parking lot. I paused briefly before getting out of my Volvo, checking the thoughts inside to see if anyone of the teenage persuasion was in the store.

_All clear._

A few minutes later, I was standing at the customer service desk, staring incredulously at the old man behind the counter who was chewing the biggest wad of tobacco I had ever seen.

"So you're telling me, it's going to take six weeks to order a door?"

"That particular style, yes." The man said, pausing his chewing long enough to spit into small cup he kept stashed beneath the counter.

_Classy._

Six more weeks of no privacy? No. I slid a crisp $100 bill across the counter.

"Still going to take six weeks?" I smiled my charming crooked smile and winked, like a douche.

The old man smiled back and pocketed the money.

"Yes, sir. Six weeks." More spit into the cup.

I stared at him blankly.

"Weren't you...dazzled?"

"No."

He stared back, unfazed. Utterly bored. Still chewing his wad of tobacco. But a little happier now, being $100 richer.

_Wow. A new low, Cullen. Trying to charm a 70-year-old man. And failing._

"Fine." I sighed. This had been a fantastic day.

I headed off down the aisle, gathering up the various supplies necessary to patch the hole in my wall and the crushed staircase railing. I loaded up my cart and headed to the checkout line, wanting to get the hell out of the hardware store and out of Forks as soon as possible.

I handed my money to the cashier, a rather unpleasant looking man, very overweight with a husky lisp, man boobs and a bad comb-over. Almost home free.

Then I smelled her, a split second before she spoke. The same burn in my throat. I'd only smelled it three times before, but it was forever ingrained in my mind. Why hadn't I noticed her before then? Of course, her mind was, as always, horribly silent.

_Why can't I get rid of this girl?_

"I just want you to know it wasn't my idea." Her voice came from beside me. She was standing just inside the exit. She obviously caught sight of me on her way out. She looked very out of place in a hardware store.

_Like you look any cozier, Cullen. Fucking geriatric charmer._

"What are you doing here, Swan?"

She held up some paint samples, like I was an idiot.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm going to paint my room."

"Oh."

_Really? That's all you've got, Cullen?_

"Yeah, so like I said, I don't like it any better than you do. Blame my dad."

I raised an eyebrow but she again looked at me like I was stupid. This time, unreasonably so. I had no fucking clue what she was babbling on about.

"Sir...your change..." I turned back to the annoyed cashier and took my change.

"Sorry, man." I mumbled.

He huffed at me and scowled.

I noticed the name tag.

_Heather._

_Really?_

_Must. Leave. Hardware. Hell._

When I finally escaped, after even more mumbled apologies to the unfortunate "woman", Swan was already out the door and setting her paint samples into the passenger seat of an ancient red truck parked beside of my car.

Just as I was walking over, my mouth already half-open, ready to ask her what the hell she had been talking about, a voice called out from the other side of the parking lot.

"Oh, Isabella!" Mrs. Stanley was waving at the Swan girl from her mini-van. "Can you come over here for a minute?"

Swan shot me a sideways glare and then trotted off to talk to Mrs. Stanley.

"Isabella, can you do me a favor?" Mrs. Stanley reached into the passenger seat and started gathering some papers. "We're having a bake sale at the church and I was wondering if you could take these fliers to your father? Have him put them up on the community board down at the station?"

"Yeah, sure."

"How are you liking Forks so far?"

Mindless chit chat. I could wait for her to finish and then ambush her again for answers. Or, I could have a little fun.

It was just too good to pass up. She had parked right beside me, that's got to be fate working on my side. Normally, I wasn't such a hateful jerk. But this girl had definitely hit a nerve with me.

Nonchalantly, I strolled toward my car, stopping briefly at the hood of her beaten up truck. I looked over my shoulder. They were talking, neither one paying me any attention. Skillfully I popped the hood, reached my hand inside, and without even looking, bent the first pieces of metal my hand touched. Then, just as nonchalantly, but now with a devilish smirk on my face, I shut the hood with a slight click, ambled over to my car, got in, and drove away.

They were still talking, completely oblivious to what had just happened.

But I couldn't leave it at that. Half the fun would be seeing her react. I parked across the street at the grocery store and waited, just close enough that I could still see and hear her. She finally said goodbye to Mrs. Stanley, who then drove away. Swan got into her truck and tried to start it to no avail. She tried a few more times, but still nothing. She took out her cellphone and called her dad. He gave her the number of a tow company. She sat, annoyed, for almost an hour before the tow truck got there and carted off her truck. That was about the time I lost it, laughing my ass off in the Thriftway parking lot at a 17 year old girl getting towed.

_It's the simple things in life._

After they were gone, I put my car into gear and finally headed back home, thoroughly amused.

I was still laughing when I pulled up to the house. I parked and sauntered up the front steps. Oh, Alice would be so pissed at what I had done to her little friend, her little puppet, but I was too happy to care.

I spent the rest of the evening mending my wall and the staircase banister, humming giddily to myself the whole time, receiving strange looks from every family member that passed me.

Alice finally walked by me later that night. I braced myself for the verbal assault. But it didn't come. In fact, she grinned like the Cheshire Cat when she saw me sitting on the staircase. It made me very uneasy.

"What?" There was no point in trying to read her mind. She would be blocking me anyway and it wouldn't be worth it to have her yell at me again for it.

"You fucked yourself over big time, dumbass." She called out in a sing song voice as she skipped up the stairs past me. "Just like I knew you would..."

_Wait. What?_

The front door opened below me and Carlisle entered the downstairs foyer, home from his shift at the hospital. In my utter bliss at screwing Swan over, I had almost forgotten that Carlisle would be wanting to speak with me. I got up and headed down the stairs, meeting him at the bottom.

"Edward! I'm glad you're here. There's something I want to talk to you about."

I froze. I'm pretty sure I resembled a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming tractor trailer.

I heard it all in his mind. It came screaming out at me. I stood absolutely numb as he spoke to me. I already knew every word he was going to say before he said it. And I really had fucked myself over.

_So that's what Alice had been gloating about. What Swan had been rambling about. They were both talking about the same damn thing._

"First of all, I'm so proud of you for apologizing to Bella yesterday."

_It was nothing. Literally._

"Alice told me how sincere and thoughtful it was, and I'm very pleased with how serious you took our conversation."

_Fuck up #1. Lies. All lies._

"I've spoken to Chief Swan twice today. He called the first time to inquire about Bella volunteering with the hospital banquet. He thought it would be good for her to have a summer job, for college applications, and remembered you mentioning that Esme was short on volunteers for the banquet."

_Oh shit, I had said that. Fuck up #2._

"That was very considerate of you, to think of your mother."

_Not considerate. I was preoccupied trying to catch the little girl eavesdropping._

"Esme is delighted at the idea of having the two of you helping."

_The two of us. Together. All fucking summer._

"The Chief called back right before I left the hospital, he had a favor to ask of you. I've already told him you would be happy to oblige..."

_And the big one. Fuck up #3..._

"It seems Bella's vehicle broke down today and they can't afford to get it fixed..."

_No, no, no, no, no! Why did I have to be such an asshole?_

"I told Chief Swan it would be no problem for you to give Bella a ride to work. I know you'll be a gentleman to her, just as you were yesterday. I really am very proud of you, son." He embraced my petrified body in a hug. My mind reeled, trying desperately to find some way out of the situation. But there was no answer in sight. If I refused, then I'd have to explain why. The truth would come out. Carlisle would be livid. He'd probably ask me to leave right then and there. And if I agreed, then I just committed myself to a summer of chauffeuring the cockwhore around town.

He let go of me and smiled, waiting for some sort of reply. I knew what was important. I knew the answer he wanted to hear. The one that meant I could stay with my family. I took a deep breath.

"Sounds great."

_Fuck. Fuck. FUCK._


	12. Serenaded

***Author's Note* I became entirely too giddy when I saw I had several reviews for the last chapter. I was pretty pathetic. I loved them all so please keep them coming! You make me smile (and write)!**

**I hope you like this chapter, you'll be seeing more of Edward's thoughts, like the last chapters, mainly because I like the idea that the more his life "falls apart", the more he starts to internalize, observe, and question the things around him. That's a nice way of saying he's going mental. :)**

**Also, I know I've been asked if there will be a BPOV, and I've been pretty wishy-washy on the subject so far, but I can almost guarantee that there will not be a BPOV. Logistically, with what I have in mind for this story, doing a BPOV could ruin some things to come in later chapters. If there is ever a BPOV, it won't happen until the end...and that's all I'm going to say. :) Sketchy, I know, but I don't want to give too much away.**

**And I hope you enjoy this chapter's song pick. A few sentences in, and the reason for my choice should be clear.**

**An additional disclaimer, the definition attributed in this chapter to Urban Dictionary is from that site, I don't claim it as my own.**

**All characters belong to Stephenie, reviews are so wonderful (comments, predictions, criticisms, anything!), and songs are on my profile!**

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_Wake up the dawn and ask her why_

_A dreamer dreams, she never dies_

_Wipe that tear away now from your eye_

_Oasis - Champagne Supernova_

--------

I was once again in my room, on my couch, trying to figure out how I was going to make it through the day. One day at a time, that's how I was looking at it. If I could make it through the first day without doing something that would cause me to be told to get the hell out of the family, then I could make it through every other day after it. But I still wasn't entirely sure I could make it through Day 1. I had been sitting in complete silence, trying to convince myself that it would be alright, but the rational part of my mind wasn't buying what the delusional part was saying. A few hours of that was enough to drive anybody crazy.

_You're also talking to yourself more, Cullen._

_Yeah, fuck you._

Carlisle went in early for another shift at the hospital. He couldn't get enough of it. Esme went with him, to scout out a conference room and set it up so that we could get down to work as soon as Swan and I arrived at 10.

I couldn't take the silence of my room anymore. And I couldn't stand listening to the arguing in my head. I felt like I was finally going off the deep end. I needed to let it all out somehow...

The second Carlisle and Esme were out of range, I cranked up my stereo and started blasting "Champagne Supernova". On repeat. For an hour.

At the hour mark, I had started serenading the whole house. At the top of my fucking lungs.

"Someday you will find me..." I belted along with the song.

"Caught beneath the landslide...."

"I hate that stupid FUCKING girl..."

_Did I mention I'm also adding my own lyrics?_

"In a champagne supernova in the sky..."

"Goddammit, I wish I could get DRUNK..."

EDWARD! STOP BEING A MOTHERFUCKING LITTLE BITCH AND TURN OFF THE FUCKING WHINY PUNKASS MUSIC, YOU STUPID DICKLESS FUCKTARD!

_Damn. My lungs have nothing on Rosalie's._

She was standing in the doorway, hair disheveled and wearing just a black slip nightie. She was absolutely seething at me. I had no idea her eyes could pop that far out of her head. She jerked her head towards the stereo and I complied, reaching over from my well-worn spot on my couch and turning it off.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The pitch of her voice was several decibels lower, but her tone was just as angry as before.

I shrugged. "I thought you liked this song?"

_Play dumb, I'm sure that won't make her angrier._

I thought, for just a split second, I actually saw fire shoot from her huge, bulging eyes.

"Not when your pathetic ass plays it, being all emo and shit, moaning because you have to ride in a car - with a 17 YEAR OLD GIRL - then it is whiny punk ass music. Now cut the bullshit and quit being such an asshat. Why don't you just go and jack-off or something?"

"I don't have a fucking DOOR, Rosalie, otherwise, I would. I'm not about to show everybody my technique."

"Thank God." Emmett muttered, from somewhere behind her. He had followed her into my doorway, to coax her back to bed. However, his mind had taken a detour. _'What the hell is an 'asshat'?'_ Emmett thought.

I called out the unsolicited answer to him. "'One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat. Asshat.' Urban dictionary, dude."

Emmett nodded in understanding. _Makes sense..._he thought.

Rosalie whipped around to face him. The sudden about-face slightly shocked Emmett and he took a step backward. There was only one person in the entire world that he was afraid of. And she was quickly turning on him.

"How do you not know what an asshat is?" She shrieked in his face.

_A-ha, I found a weakness._

"I don't know, baby! It doesn't matter." He shrugged meekly. "Just come back to bed, Rose." He cooed. "You finally got him to shut up."

"You're supposed to be backing me up! How can you do that if you are undermining my insults but not knowing what they mean?" She took a menacing step toward him and he took another one back.

"Look, babe, I didn't even ask it out loud. He friggin picked it outta my head!"

By this point I was sitting on the edge of my couch, watching the show, with what I'm sure was a goofy smile on my face. When you're not the one being yelled at, it's entertaining as hell.

"Then learn to control your fucking thoughts around the freak show!"

And there went my smile.

"I can't do it all the fucking time, Rose. Maybe YOU should have just called him what I suggested, I knew what that meant..."

"Call him the word YOU suggested? You mean 'Cuntface?' That's highly inappropriate, Emmett."

"And 'fucktard' wasn't?"

Well, with them standing in my doorway fighting, I couldn't go back to singing. And in all honesty, I was a little frightened that Rosalie might remember why she had come to my room in the first place and start reaming me all over again. Lost cause. As quietly as possible, I slid past them out of my room and down the stairs, as the sound of their fight faded behind me.

I still had a little bit of time to formulate a game plan for the day. To come up with a guide for surviving two car rides and a full day of volunteering with the cockwhore. I still hadn't come up with any ideas except for "Don't fuck up." I needed something a little more detailed then that.

I needed someone to talk to.

I rounded the corner into the living room and found Jasper sitting in an armchair with a book. Maybe Jasper would understand.

_Sure, he's a compassionate guy..._

"I hear the concert's finally over, Mr. Gallagher." He didn't even look up from the book.

"If you all hated it so much, why did you let it go on for so long?" I walked around to face him. He just kept on reading.

"The same reason why you let your 3 year old daughter scream in her room for an hour because she can't have a cookie before dinner. Teach her that whining about something gets her nowhere. Same basic principle."

_Bastard._

"ALICE!" I shouted, turning in a circle to look for her. I knew she would at least understand.

"Kitchen." He monotoned, his eyes never moving past the pages of his damn book.

I stalked past him, out of the living room and into the kitchen. I couldn't even remember the last time I had been in the room and wondered why Alice was in there now. What I saw stopped me dead in my tracks.

Alice stood with her back against the far counter, a demented glint in her golden eyes. She was holding a massive butcher knife in her tiny hand. When I entered, she pointed it right at me. I looked her up and down in disbelief.

_Well, at least I'm not the only one going crazy around here._

"I swear to God, you sick son of a bitch. If you came down here to fucking sing in my face, I will stab you." She growled.

_My singing is definitely under-appreciated._

"I'm done singing, Alice." I held my hands up to prove that I surrendered. I then made a motion with both hands, urging her to lower the knife. Her body seemed to relax and she lowered it to her side, but still kept a firm grip on the handle.

"I'm glad you stopped." She breathed out.

"Or what? You were about to come stab me?" I laughed. Like a knife could do any damage. Still, I was a little afraid. Not so much of it, but of her.

"Yes."

"And you actually think that would have worked?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No."

"OK." I started slowly. "Then why..."

"Stress relief."

_She does look stressed._

I eyed the knife, still gripped in her tiny fist. On the off chance she could actually do any damage with it, I didn't want to be the one to find out how.

"Can you just put down the knife for a minute so I can talk to you?" I pleaded. It sounded like I was talking her down from a suicide attempt. She looked at it, then at me, debating whether or not she still needed the stress relief. Finally, with a great sigh, she put it down, looking very forlorn to have done so without getting to take a swing at me with it first.

"What do you want to talk about?"

I motioned for her to follow me out of the kitchen, away from any temptation of the sharp stainless steel variety, should she change her mind. We walked back through the living room, past Jasper still reading in the chair.

"Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball..." He sang quietly as I passed, a smirk on his face, his nose still buried in the book. I flipped him off as we walked by. He blew me a kiss.

_Fuck you._

Alice and I headed out on the front porch, settling ourselves down on the steps.

"I completely fucked up."

"Yep."

"A little heads up would have been nice, Alice. You know, something along the lines of 'You're fucked already, so don't do any more damage by sabotaging her truck.' That would have been useful advice."

"Just because I'm a psychic doesn't mean I get to be my brother's keeper. It's not my responsibility to stop your delinquent behavior. Especially when you tell me NOT TO." She stuck her nose in the air, still pissed that I had insisted that she stop meddling in my future.

"What am a going to do? I can't stand the girl." I sighed. Alice reached over and hooked her arm through mine, laying her head on my shoulder, comforting me. Through all of our fights and disagreements, she always came through when I needed her most. I kissed the top of her head and laid my head on hers.

And, through all of our fights and disagreements, I also knew our moments of peace and love were usually short-lived.

"I don't think you have much of a choice. My advice would be to keep your mouth shut as much as possible."

"And don't fuck up any more of her shit." I added.

"See, you don't need a psychic to figure it out after all. Not like I would tell you anyway." I scowled. Alice shrugged, pulling away from me and standing up. "I like her well enough. Maybe it won't be so bad." She skipped back into the house before I could form a rebuttal. I turned to watch her dance through the hallway.

"Carlisle told you to be at Bella's house at 9:30, you better get ready!" She called over her shoulder.

"Get ready?" I looked down at my jeans and t-shirt, not seeing any problem with my attire.

She stopped her frolicking in the hallway and turned around to face me, completely aghast.

"Surely you're not wearing that?" She spat out, a look of disgust on her face.

"You made me buy this!" I pointed out.

"It's too casual for tomorrow."

"I don't have to impress her." I rolled my eyes, completely insulted at the idea that I would care what Swan thought about me.

"No, but you should look nice for Esme. At least show her some respect."

_OK, she has a point there._

"Come on, I'll fix this problem!" I watched as she once again turned back around into the house and danced up the stairs, heading straight for my closet.

A few hours later, after another pep talk from Alice..._'Just don't open your stupid mouth. You're an asshole when you talk.'...s_he had reiterated, I was parked in the Swan's driveway, tapping my fingers impatiently on my steering wheel, my eyes constantly shifting from the front door of the house to the clock on my dashboard.

_9:30. C'mon you stupid girl, hurry up._

I had to hand it to Alice, I did look good. Charcoal slacks and a blue button-up shirt, rolled sleeves, the top few buttons undone. A pair of black Ray-Bans perched upon my nose. Completely unnecessary, considering it was another dreary day in Forks, but I looked good in them, and that's all that mattered. I peered up over my sunglasses at the door, then once again to the dashboard clock.

_9:31. Now she's late._

_Well, I'd hate to be late for my first day of work..._

I started to put the car into reverse, planning on peeling out of the driveway, when the front door flung open and Swan hurled herself outside, nearly breaking her neck when her shoe caught on the door mat.

I sighed and put the brake on again, watching her through my sunglasses as she tripped down the steps and ran over to my Volvo. Her hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and she was wearing black slacks and a blue v-neck shirt almost the same color as mine.

_Pssh, I look better._

She yanked open the passenger door and flopped into the seat. "Sorry, I didn't know you were out here." She said, winded from her near-death experience just trying to leave her house.

"I honked." I said, not looking at her and quickly reversing out of the driveway.

"No, you didn't." She muttered.

I shrugged. "Whoops, thought I did."

I looked over at her and gave her a fake apologetic smile. She was glaring at me.

_Cut it out, Cullen. Remember Alice's advice. Just keep your goddamn mouth shut for once._

I turned back towards the road and smashed down the gas pedal. I reached for the volume and cranked it up loud enough so it was obvious I wasn't in the mood for talking. This seemed to suit her perfectly fine as she settled down into the seat and stared out her window.

"Someday you will find me...caught beneath the landslide..." The familiar words blared out from my car speakers as we flew through Forks, heading towards the hospital. I felt a small smile draw across my lips as additional lyrics about hating a certain girl floated through my head.


	13. Bargained

***Author's Note* OK, so I'm kind of at a loss as to the reviews and why they are going back and forth so much. Talk to me people, did you really hate the last chapter that much? Tell me what you're liking or disliking so I can keep doing it, or so I can fix it! I'll listen, really. :)**

**Lots of love to the three reviews I did get...SpunkRansom101 - you definitely encourage me to keep going, thanks for the all reviews! Ahkasha - I love little musings like that! And as always lvk1978!**

**I'm excited to be finally getting into some B&E interaction, I've got some fun things planned for them in the chapters to come...I hope you enjoy!**

**On a side note, this chapter's song is possibly my favorite song of all time. I'm quite obsessed with Kylie and it shows great restraint on my part that this is the first chapter featuring one of her songs. :) **

**Characters belong to Stephenie, I love reviews, and music is in my profile.**

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_See through me when I put up a fight_

_Like you to see the things I hide_

_Kylie Minogue - Breathe_

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We were almost at the hospital. The rest of the ride had been blissfully conversation free. As I pulled into the parking lot, looking for an open space, I saw Swan blatantly staring at me out of the corner of my eye. It was the first time she had looked at me since our first "greeting". The entire time I was parking she was still staring at me, her eyes focused on my face. Was she checking me out? She just kept on staring...

"What? See something you like?" I smiled crookedly and turned towards her, hoping to embarrass her by catching her looking at me.

"No. What kind of an asshole wears sunglasses in Forks? I mean, you realize there's no sun, right?" She deadpanned. Not what I had expected, at all. She quickly unbuckled her seat belt and hurried out of the car towards the hospital. All I could do was stare dumbfounded, my mouth hanging slightly open.

_How does she come up with this stuff? Damn, I wish I could hear her mind. I'd love to know what she's smoking and how I can get a hit of it._

_You can't get high, Cullen. Remember?_

_Fuck me._

I took off after her across the parking lot, easily catching up to her as she reached the automatic doors to the main entrance. As we entered, I saw Esme standing at the opposite side of the main lobby, excitedly waving at me.

"Hi, Sweetie, over here!" Esme called, still frantically waving. Her mind was full of anxious thoughts as she continuously checked through her to-do list in her head.

_Yes, Esme. I can see you. So can everyone else in the lobby._

Don't get me wrong, I love Esme. Very, very much. But she took her role as "mother" seriously, and I was technically still a teenager. It was in my genes to be embarrassed by her.

"You must be Bella! I'm Esme Cullen, it's a pleasure to meet you". Esme shook Swan's hand enthusiastically and grinned.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mrs. Cullen." Swan said, looking slightly awkward. But really, when did she not?

"Call me Esme, dear." She said, taking a step back to give us both the once over.

"Don't you two just look absolutely adorable together!" A scarlet blush appeared on Swan's cheeks and I'm sure my face would have flushed too if it could have. "I'm loving this whole matching thing. Did you plan it?" She gushed.

"No." We monotoned in unison.

"Oh, well all the same...Edward, you look quite dashing. And Bella, you're such a beautiful girl! The Chief's been bragging about you, and he most certainly had reason to."

Swan's blush deepened as she mumbled a 'thank you.' Esme beamed back at her and then to me, but her eyes narrowed as she appraised my appearance a second time.

_If you love me mother, you won't say it..._

"Edward, why on earth are you wearing sunglasses? It's not even sunny and there's certainly no need for them now, you're indoors! Off."

Swan nearly lost her shit trying to keep from laughing at me, soft giggles still escaping through the hand clamped firmly over her mouth.

I resisted the urge to tell my mother to fuck off. That wouldn't have gone over very well. Instead, I complied and pulled the glasses off, resting them on top of my head. Esme's smile returned.

"Much better. Now, come on you two, let's walk and talk, there's a lot we have to do!"

I fell into step with a still giggling Swan, following Esme through the corridors as she talked non-stop, babbling giddily about the task at hand. She really did love all this event planning crap.

"I cannot thank you enough for helping me this summer, it's quite an undertaking. Now, I don't know how much you're father told you, Bella, but I'll need you here Monday through Friday at 10:00 sharp. You're carpooling with Edward, so that shouldn't be an issue, he's quite punctual." Esme bragged.

"I noticed." Swan muttered, shooting me the stink-eye once again and I rolled my eyes back at her. Esme kept right on talking, oblivious to the reeking sarcasm following behind her.

"You'll get an hour lunch break from 12:00 until 1:00, and then you'll get to head back home at 3:00. So not bad at all, just part-time." We entered the elevator and Esme pushed the down button, taking us down to the basement level.

"Today's going to be a laid-back day, but we'll be busy soon enough, so don't get too complacent!" She continued as we exited onto the floor, winding our way through the hallways. We were headed towards a series of conference rooms and offices buried under the hospital.

"Bella, I'm going to bring you with me today, I'll take you on a tour of the hospital and show you where they're planning on building the new wing, provided we raise the money. Edward's already heard all this before so I'll spare him this time." She turned around to smile at me.

_First decent thing you've said all day._

We reached the conference room where a long table with chairs was set up. A laptop and a stack of papers sat at one end while I bulletin board already half-full of fabric samples and room dimensions hung on the opposite wall.

"Edward, while I'm showing Bella around, you'll be set up here today." She motioned toward the computer and I sat down in the chair in front of it. "I've got a list of benefactors and trustees on the laptop but we're missing some information. I need you to go through the stack of papers there and compare it to the list on the laptop. Input or edit any data that we don't have already or that doesn't match up."

Simple enough, and since I'd be by myself, I wouldn't have to purposefully slow down and act "human". I'm sure Esme had anticipated that.

"We'll leave you to work! Thanks again, Sweetie!"

_'I know this isn't how you wanted to spend your summer, but I really do appreciate this, Edward.' She thought._

I nodded to her, in acknowledgement of her words, spoken and unspoken.

Esme and Swan continued down the hallway and I got down to business, making short work of the stack of papers in front of me, my fingers flying at a break neck speed over the laptop keys as I updated the file.

The two hours before break went by quickly. Especially when I wasn't being aggravated by the cockwhore. I had finished only an hour into it and had spent the rest of my time playing on-line Texas Hold'em Poker, winning shitloads of fake money. The day hadn't been too bad. I had spent the first two hours alone and that was fine by me. Maybe I could keep from seeing Swan the rest of the day.

"Edward, lunch break." Esme smiled as she poked her head into the conference room. I looked up from my "work" on the laptop.

"Lunch break? Am I expected to go out into the garden and forage for food? Maul a squirrel, perhaps?" I smiled, picturing myself out in the courtyard behind the hospital, hopping around after a squirrel, climbing trees.

"Not unless you feel so inclined." She laughed before turning around and calling down the hallway. "Bella, you can eat your food in here, there's a table and I'm sure Edward will keep you company." She waved Swan over.

_Great, thanks Esme, there goes my good day._

Esme turned back to me and smiled again. I gave her a cheesy fake smile back. "I'm going to have lunch with Carlisle and some of his colleagues. I'll come and get you again at 1:00, Bella. See you two later."

Swan came sulking into the room and sat in the chair at the opposite end of the table from me.

She spread out the food she had purchased from the vending machine, a sandwich, bag of chips, and a bottle of water, and began to eat. She kept her head down, scowling at her food, though I'm pretty sure the look was meant for me and not her tuna.

I ignored her as well, going back onto the Internet to play Texas Hold'em again.

I played for a good 45 minutes, kicking ass and taking names, naturally. Every once in a while I would steal a glance at Swan, who was eating her food very slowly and still scowling. I assumed she was going slow to avoid any potential awkward silences, wasting time until Esme came back to fetch her. Texas Hold'em was more interesting than a conversation with her anyway, and I stayed engrossed in my game.

_Two pair, eat shit bitches. _I thought as I clicked the button to show my hand. I watched as my opponents' hands came up.

_My two pair beats your two pair..._

_King high, not even close, moron..._

_Full house..._

_Wait, what? _

_Fuck._

I pounded my fist on the table.

_Fuck you, efronslilprincess4lyfe, fuck you._

I looked up and groaned out of aggravation. My eyes met Swan's, staring back at me, expecting some sort of explanation.

"I just lost 450 fake dollars to a 13 year old girl."

"That...sucks?" She shrugged, clearly not understanding the hit my pride had just taken. I glared at her and went to start a new game, hoping she would just go back to stuffing her face.

"So, why aren't you eating?"

Shit. She'd seen it as an invitation to start talking.

I looked at her from under my lashes. She was staring at me, softly biting her lip, head tilted slightly to the side like she was trying to do hard math in her head.

"I'm on a special diet." I smirked.

"Anorexia isn't a diet." She said pointedly.

"What?"

"It's a disease, not a diet. You should really get help for something like that."

I'm pretty sure my mouth fell open again, for the second time that day.

"Have you talked to your dad about it? He's a doctor, I'm sure he could refer you to someone."

"I'm not anorexic." I hissed.

"Really?"

I nodded, eyeing her apprehensively.

"You're seriously just on a diet?"

"Yeah, seriously."

She looked me up and down.

"Trying to lose a few pounds then?" She nodded at me in understanding.

_Did she just go from calling me anorexic to saying I was a fatass?_

"I think it's cool, I mean most guys don't like to admit that they're trying to lose weight you know." She shrugged.

_She's seriously calling me fat! That hooker..._

"Good for you for owning up to it. Taking responsibility." She winked.

_She winked. She fucking winked._

_That's the kind of thing Emmett does when he thinks he's being cute. That's the kind of thing I do when I'm trying to charm someone. That's the kind of thing douches do._

_Call her a douche, Cullen. Call it like you see it. Better yet, call HER a fatass. Revenge, Cullen, come on. Crush her._

I opened my mouth. She waited, eyebrows slightly raised. She was anticipating the comeback.

_Remember what Alice said, Cullen. Just keep your mouth shut. You can't afford to fuck this thing up. Think of the family. You have to be good so you can stay._

It was like fucking WWIII inside my head. I clamped my mouth shut quickly before the Axis could form a rebuttal.

"You're not going to make a fat comment back to me?" She questioned. She had called my next move. A move that I couldn't go through with.

"No." I growled, my jaw clenched tight.

"Why not? Surely you didn't have a change of heart."

"I'm being a gentleman." I sniffed haughtily.

"Bullshit." She laughed.

_Correct, but kindly fuck off anyway._

"You're parents are making you be nice to me, aren't they?" She crossed her arms over her chest. She knew she was right.

I didn't answer.

"I'm not stupid. I didn't think you were giving me a ride out of the goodness of your heart, I know my dad talked to your dad. I know they're probably making you do this. Blackmail or something, right?"

"Fine, yeah, you're right!" I exclaimed. It pained me to admit it. "They ARE blackmailing me to cart you around and to not call you a fucking bitch to your face. And believe me, I want to." My calm facade was demolished. "It's out in the open now, so maybe now you'll understand why I'm choosing not to say anything rude back to you."

"I understand why your being FORCED not to, yes."

"Yeah, ok, fine, I'm being forced not to. It's definitely not the way I'd be dealing with it. But the fact remains, that I have to. And no, I'm not going to tell you why, that's none of your goddamn business."

"I didn't ask."

I clenched my jaw again. I was very close to losing control completely. There was a long pause as she let me calm down from my outburst. Very tenderly, she spoke again.

"So, I can basically say anything I want to you and you can't say anything back?"

"Basically."

"That sucks."

"Not so much for you."

"True." She bit her lip again, in thought. "But, maybe, if you wanted to fight back a little bit, that would be ok, right?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you asking me to call you a fucking bitch?" I was definitely skeptical about that.

"No, I'm not stupid." She rolled her eyes. "But, it's going to be a really, really long summer if you refuse to talk to me, you know. I won't tell your mom if you happen to let a little attitude go, here and there. Let's face it, you're gonna do that anyway." She smirked

"Why?" I was incredibly wary of her motives. "Why would you be ok with that?"

"It's fun to mess with you. Less fun when you pretend to go mute."

"So you're telling me I can mouth off to you?"

"Within reason. For example, you can't call me a fucking bitch just because you feel like it."

_Damn._

"And you won't tell Esme if I'm not a perfect little gentleman?"

"Nope, I won't run and tell mommy." She grinned. "You have her eyes, you know."

"I'm adopted." I stated.

She nodded...but didn't seem surprised to hear it. She was very strange indeed.

"So do we have a deal or what?"

"Deal." I nodded my head at her. That's the closest she was going to get to a handshake. "But this doesn't mean I like you, Swan."

"Likewise, Cullen." She nodded as well. I had sealed my deal with the devil.

Esme came back to whisk Swan away and not a moment too soon. I glared at her one more time as she left before turning back to my game of poker. I really did not understand the girl at all.


	14. Ransacked

***Author's Note* Thank you VERY much to those who reviewed, much love to you all! Please keep them coming because I'm a loser like that and reviews make me very happy! I should mention, along with reviews, I also love seeing the story added to C2s, favs and alerts. But reviews are still my favorite and encourage me to write. Forizzle. And, Ahkasha - just a little clarification: they're working 4 hour days, 5 days a week = 20 hours. 40+ hour weeks are traditionally full-time. I think it's totally plausible.**

**I know things are moving slow, but I feel like I shouldn't rush through it, otherwise the story would be over two chapters from now. Comments, musings, predictions, criticisms, "please update"? Let me hear 'em. Seriously.**

**And, if anybody is actually listening to any of these songs (haha, I know, right), make sure to listen to this chapter's song in it's entirety. Third Silverchair song for this story, by accident. It changes up in the middle ("Strange Behaviour", my favorite part), but all three parts complement the chapter well. And I couldn't resist, it mentions so many topics covered in this chapter: thieving, karma, paranoia, even a friggin Swan...too good to pass up. :)**

**Characters belong to Mrs. Meyer, reviews are like candy to me, and chapter music is in my profile.**

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_Change whatever karma means_

_For the only things that end never truly begin_

_Silverchair - Those Thieving Birds (Part 1)/Strange Behaviour/Those Thieving Birds (Part 2)_

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Despite our deal, I was still wary of Swan. I decided she couldn't be trusted and that I shouldn't be so quick to forget our little disastrous rendezvous at Newton's house just a few days prior. So, I had kept my mouth shut on the way home, not wanting to give her any more ammunition that could come back and bite me in the ass later on. Because it most certainly would, as karma seemed to have a way of screwing me over when it came to her. She was like my unlucky charm, like I had thrown a fucking rock into a line of mirrors while thirteen black cats all danced back in forth in front of me tossing around salt shakers - without throwing the salt over their furry little left shoulders. So although the idea of getting to tell her off was appealing to me - very appealing - I couldn't help but wonder if it was all part of some master plan where I end up calling her a poophead or something ridiculous like that and then somehow I get castrated in front of the whole fucking town of Forks, all 20 people, after being told to get the hell out of my family. I realized how unlikely that first part was, but it still freaked me the fuck out.

_Paranoia. Hearing voices. I think there's a name for people like me._

_Yeah, they're called crazy people, Cullen._

So, I had kept my mouth shut for the majority of the ride back. The majority. Because I did manage to call her a cockwhore. To her face.

It had been just too good to pass up, and she most definitely deserved it. I knew I used that argument a lot, but this time it had been true.

She had offered me a tic-tac on the drive home, which I'm almost positive was a backhanded insult to my breath. Which was not stank ass, like she had implied. And by implied, I mean actually said. When I refused, she called me anorexic again. I snatched it out of her hand and popped it into my mouth to spite her, intending to just puke it back up later. I didn't even get a chance to swallow it, because she then proceeded to inform me that bulimia was also not a diet, if that was my M.O., and that it was a pretty gross thing to do anyway, what with the decay of your teeth and the fact that your hair eventually starts to fall out. Which, she told me, couldn't be a good thing for me since I already had a receding hairline.

Like hell I did.

And I wasn't fucking bulimic, but the whole vomiting it back up part made her right by way of a technicality, and it pissed me off all the same. So, I spit the tic-tac into her lap, which grossed her out, and called her a cockwhore anyway, still half-expecting her to cry about me being mean to her and then running to tell Esme about big bad Edward the next day. But she just rolled down the window, threw the tic-tac out and then smirked at me, and we went back to ignoring each other.

It was fucking weird.

And, as if my day hadn't been shitty enough already, I returned home from my hard day's work to discover that my stereo was missing.

"Ok, which one of you motherfuckers ganked my stereo?" I bellowed out into the hallway.

"I did." Yelled back four voices in unison.

_Great, just fucking great._

I knew they weren't about to rat out the asshole who really did steal it and they knew enough strategic maneuvers at that point to keep me from picking it out of anybody's stupid little head. For all I knew, it very well could have been a joint effort between the four of them to piss me off, so I took matters into my own hands. I completely ransacked the house, naturally. I turned all of their shit upside down looking for it. I emptied every drawer, looked under every bed, and fought my way to the back of every closet. Even after Rosalie, the bitch that she is, pointed out that there was no way in hell my stereo could fit into her fucking gaudy Gucci purse, I still opened that shit up and threw everything inside of it onto the floor at her feet.

_Yeah, fuck you and your little Gucci bag too._

They were good though, and at the end of it all, I was still without my stereo. However, all my looking was not in vain. Not only was it great stress relief, not to mention a lot of fun messing up their junk, I also stumbled across something useful in the process. I found a spare spring rod and an ugly dark green window curtain in the back of a hallway storage closet. That shit was going to be my interim door.

I mounted the rod and curtain across the doorway to my room...but something seemed to be missing. I grabbed a piece of blank paper and a sharpie and wrote in big obnoxious block letters:

_KEEP OUT,_

_BITCHES_

I taped my ghetto note onto my equally ghetto door and stepped back to appraise my craftsmanship. I nodded my head, satisfied at my work and headed back downstairs. Jasper was sitting in the same stupid armchair that he had been in earlier that morning, and if the book he was reading hadn't of changed, I would have thought he had just left his lazy ass there all day. He could waste the day away with a friggin book, and yet the bastard still couldn't find the time to look up from his reading whenever I entered the room.

"Find it?" He smirked.

"Fuck you."

"I see you have yet to remove the stick from your ass, so I'll humor you and assume it didn't go well today."

I plopped down into the chair beside of his and crossed my arms. He was being an asshole, but I wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to vent.

"It was horrible...she's horrible..."

"Leave you horny at Newton's again?" He interrupted me.

"What? No! But thanks for bringing it up, jerk."

"You have to work with her the whole time?"

"No. I didn't see her the whole day, besides in the car and at break." I quickly realized how pathetic my whining seemed.

"Then why are you so pissed?"

I took a deep breath. "She called me an anorexic, bulimic, smelly, balding, fatass. Which are all NOT true, and if you make a comment about any of them I will punch you in the balls." I threatened "And then she told me I could be a dick to her. Within reason." The perplexed look on my face said it all.

"All in one day? She's good." He laughed.

"Not exactly the word I would have chosen."

"So let me get this straight: you successfully avoided seeing her the majority of the day, she called you a few names, and then she told you that you could be yourself around her?"

I took a second to think it over. "Essentially."

He burst out laughing. Well, at least he had finally put down the damn book.

"What?" I demanded.

"That's what you're so upset about?" He choked out between guffaws. I didn't need this.

"I'm so glad that my pain is such an amusing source of entertainment for you." I rose from my chair. "Alice!" I yelled. "Alice, I need you!" I waited for a moment, trying to hear her voice over Jasper's annoying whooping laughs, but I received no response. "ALICE!" I called louder. I knew she was in the house somewhere. Jasper was still laughing beside me but finally managed to choke out a complete sentence.

"She's hiding from you in her closet, so I wouldn't advise trying to run and cry to her right now. I don't think she'd give you a very positive response, anyway. In fact, I'm pretty sure I saw her taking that huge knife with her." He made an exaggerated stabbing motion with his hand as he cackled incessantly.

I still wasn't keen to find out if she could do any damage with that motherfucker. I sighed and fell back into the chair and put my head in my hands.

"You could always ask for my advice, you know."

"Fuck no, you're an asshole to me." I punctuated the statement by giving him the finger.

"And Alice isn't?"

"She doesn't laugh at me."

"Not to your face."

"Yeah, well...hold up, she laughs at me?" I whipped my head up and glared at him.

"Yeah, all the time, dude." His laughter was finally starting to ebb off and he looked almost genuinely sorry for me. "Did you really think she was babying you because she's a nice person? Hell no, the woman laughs her face off about it every time you're out of earshot."

"That little midget backstabber."

"See, at least I have the decency to be a douche to your face."

"Why are you telling me this? She'll come after you with that knife next when she finds out you're ratting her out."

"Yeah, well, no offense, but even if that knife could do any damage, I'm not really worried about it. I've been through worse." He shrugged, alluding to his past job fighting entire armies of vampires, "Besides, she wouldn't dare come at me with that thing, I can control my woman." He paused. "Unlike Emmett."

That was definitely true.

He continued, "Frankly, she's getting on my damn nerves with all the manipulative bullshit that she's been doing. You're not the only one she's been screwing over, you know."

"Who else?" He had gotten my interest.

"Well, besides me since I have to listen to her blabbing about it all the time, she also played puppet master with a few other people that night at Newton's."

"That's right, you were there too." I growled.

"Now don't go lumping me in with Alice, I had no idea what she was up to. I was just there to keep her company because she's needy like that. But you're not the only one pissed at her for the little stunt she pulled. Remember how she said that you and I had to leave, but that she didn't see Emmett coming?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, well I'm sure you can guess by now that she didn't have any kind of vision and she just left Emmett there even though she knew he was miserable. You know he had to stay at the banquet for like another three hours after we left? He was fucking POed at her for that shit. The least she could have done was bail him out, but she didn't, all because he pissed her off like a month ago for calling one of her new dresses slutty. Which it totally is, and I'm embarrassed to be seen with her when she wears it, but I'm not about to go running my mouth off to her about it and end up majorly screwed like Emmett. I know better. And, as much as you might not want to hear it, your little Swanny-poo has been manipulated by Alice as much as you have."

"She's not innocent! Need I remind you what she did to me? What YOUR precious little Alice convinced her to do. She could have said no." I huffed.

"Hey, I'm not going to get into the middle of it. I see both sides. I'm not saying you have to like the girl, I realize you feel like you've been hurt and betrayed, which to a certain extent, you have been. But you have to understand - Alice hunted this girl out, Edward. The moment she saw that you wouldn't be able to infiltrate her mind, she made it her mission to befriend her. She pushed her into doing it. I'm not excusing their behavior, either of them, just cut Swan a little slack. Maybe try not to be a complete jackass to her."

"But she's just so...obnoxious, and rude...and really, really fucking weird!"

"She's really got you freaked, hasn't she?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"She confuses the hell out of me, Jasper!" I said, throwing my arms up into the air. "I get the feeling that even if I could read her mind, I still wouldn't understand a damn thing that she says. I don't know how to act around her."

He mulled it over for a second and scratched his head in thought.

"So, do you want to hear my advice, or not?"

"I was under the impression that you thought I was being a whiny little bitch. Why do you want to help me all of a sudden?"

"You are still my brother, and believe it or not, I do still care about you. I think you need to have a real heart to heart with someone. Someone not named Alice."

"Your little wifey is a headcase."

"I'm aware. Which is why you need to talk to someone besides her."

"Fine, why the hell not? You're just going to tell me anyway."

"That's the spirit." He laughed. "In my opinion, which happens to be right, forcing you to be nice to this girl is not helping the situation."

I nodded. "I like this opinion so far, go on."

"I think you should take Bella's advice and just be yourself."

"You mean be a dick?"

"Same difference." He shrugged.

"But Alice told me to keep my mouth shut." I sighed. I was having a hard time letting go of the only piece of advice that had made sense before.

"Look, her intentions in telling you that were sincere, just a little misguided. Keeping your mouth shut - in certain situations - is a good thing. But I think just telling you not to talk is a little extreme. Maybe take Alice's advice and edit it. Instead of just shutting up, just be yourself, only more censured. And not as assholey. And I think you'll get through the summer ok. So, that's my advice, take it or leave it."

I sat back in my chair, processing all that he had said. It seemed to make sense, though I still loathed the fact that it was basically the same thing that Swan had told me to do. I didn't want her to think that I had actually listened to her, but the idea of just taking her bullshit insults in silence for the rest of the summer did not sit well with me, at all. At least with this game plan I could call her a bitch. Well, as long as it was warranted. Which it always was with her.

"Yeah, ok, I'll try. Thanks...thanks for the talk, for everything." I held my fist out to him.

"No problem." He pounded my fist with his. "Now quit bothering me and let me read my damn book. Go exercise or something, fatty."

"You know, people like you are why people like me have emotional issues." I stated, eying his crotch and raising my fist, planning on making good on my earlier threat.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's the reason why you're such a pussy." He rolled his eyes. "And, if you touch my balls, I will personally see to it that Alice and Rosalie both take turns smashing yours. You know they've both been dying to kick your dick in for as long as you've been playing these girls."

Now that was a serious threat and I quickly withdrew my hand. Obviously, nice time with Jasper was over. I hauled my - NOT FAT - ass back upstairs in search of the little traitor, aka Alice, aka psycho puppet-master bitch.

Just like Jasper said, she was barricaded in the closet with the door closed.

"Alice, get out here." I hissed.

"Your day wasn't that bad. I'm not talking to you about it." She called from somewhere in the depths of her massive closet. "Now go away, I'm busy. I've got to reorganize everything since you felt the need to fuck my system up earlier today looking for your stupid stereo. Which you still didn't find, so boo on you."

I laughed. "I don't want to talk to you about my day. I already had a nice little convo with your hubby. He ratted you out, by the way, Benedict Arnold."

"Ugh, so now you're all pissed that I've been making fun of you behind your back? Is that it? Get over it, little girl."

_Little girl? Oh hell no..._

I marched over to her massive dresser and pulled it in front of the closet door, trapping her inside.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Payback, bitch." I snorted.

"Um...I have super duper vampire strength too, dumbass. I can move the dresser."

"I'd like to see you try with me leaning up against it the whole night."

"You wouldn't dare."

I smiled and sat on the floor, placing my back firmly against it.

"Try me."

I felt her push from the other side of the door but I held firm. For four motherfucking hours. She spent the entire time insulting me but it was so worth it. And I only moved after four hours because Jasper finally came to rescue her. It pissed me off that he hadn't just let me sit there and hold her hostage the whole night, but I was grateful that he had given me at least a few hours of sweet revenge.

"I need sexy time with my wife, so move it." He came barging in, waving his hands at me to shoo me out.

"C'mon, Jasper, just a few more hours..."

"I'm going to start stripping whether you're sitting there or not, so unless you want to get the show instead of her..." He reached for the top button on his shirt.

"Point taken!" I scrambled up from my feet and laughed the entire way back to my room. I could still hear Alice screeching from inside the closet as Jasper moved the dresser back to it's place against the wall.


	15. Outed

***Author's Note* Ugh, I was trying to upload this for hours yesterday but kept getting error messages. I finally found a way around it (as of now, it's still giving me an error) so I hope you all can read it! *shakes fist at the site***

**Thank you to those who reviewed. Have I ever mentioned how much I love them (and you)?**

**Lots of BxE here and...something of the lemon variety. Don't hate me for it. :x I will be visiting friends at the beach for a week starting Sunday, so expect an update after then...provided I have some encouragement to do so (*cough*review*cough*).**

**Characters belong to Stephenie. Please review! Music for each chapter in my profile.**

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_But you love to keep me guessing_

_I can't help obsessing_

_You come near and then you're gone_

_It's unclear, should I keep hanging on now_

_Tinted Windows - Messing With My Head  
_

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9:30 am, on the dot. The passenger door flung open and she once again hurled herself into my car, her usual scowl already formed upon her lips.

"Good morning, Sunshine." My voice oozed sarcasm and shit. She flipped me off.

"Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?" I sniffed and acted offended.

"I'd ask you the same thing but I'm pretty sure you didn't eat breakfast, Manorexic."

That was the cheery start to my Tuesday.

Really, if I thought about it, my time with Swan was going as smoothly as could be expected. Taking Jasper's advice actually seemed to be working and my daily commutes proved more manageable, knowing that any time she tried to rape my ears with her ridiculous insults and snide remarks, I could just hit her right back. Work itself was a cakewalk, as Esme wisely kept Bella away from me throughout the day, knowing that my work would always go faster if I was left alone. I never saw the girl besides the daily carpool and break. Still too much, but even I conceded that it could be much worse.

I could tell already that the banquet we were helping to plan was going to be extraordinary. Esme didn't do anything half-assed. She was at the hospital by 8 every morning and usually didn't get home until the evening. By the time we got there at 10, she'd be waiting for us in the lobby, tasks laid out, and already working on plans for the weeks to come in her head. If I didn't hate banquets so much, I might actually have wanted to go to Esme's. She was that good.

She was, however, not good at picking up on the still stagnant hostility whenever Swan and I were in close proximity, and I spent my daily break watching Swan eat her food out of the corner of my eye and successfully ignoring her by scamming tweens out of fake money on the net. Hostility abound, but now it was mutual, and thanks to our agreement, both our tongues were sharper than ever.

By Wednesday morning, she had found a new nickname for me. That particular conversation had been a mindtrip as well.

"Morning, E.D." She snickered, fastening up her seat belt and grinning at me like she knew she was the shit.

"You do realize that my initials are actutally E.C., right?" I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway, shooting her an unamused glance as I did so.

"It doesn't stand for your name."

I raised an eyebrow, taking the bait.

"Eating Disorder." She practically sang, eyes bright and her grin wide.

"Clever." I deadpanned, rolling my eyes. "Probably took you all night to think up that one, B.S. And I actually used your initials, but that's not what it stands for."

"Bullshit?" She cocked her head to the side.

"You're smarter than you look, Swan."

"Backhanded compliment, I'll still take it."

"I wasn't complimenting you." I glared at her from the corner of my eye. She still had that dumb smile on her face. "At all."

"Doesn't matter. I interpreted it as such, it's a compliment. I already took it."

"You're so fucking weird." I muttered under my breath, pushing down the accelerator and speeding off toward my daily hell.

Thursday started the same way, but quickly spiralled out of control.

She slid into the car, the grin from the morning before still in place. "Morning, E.D."

"No new nickname?" I questioned. "You're losing your touch."

"No, I'm not. It's new. It stands for something else today."

I sighed. She was baiting me again, but something in the grin she couldn't hide from me made me humor her. I motioned for her to spit it out.

"Erectile Dysfunction!" She crowed, throwing her head back and laughing blissfully.

_Is she for real? Girl has done lost her damn mind._

I shook my head a few times in shock as she giggled beside of me, happily staring out the window at the scenery flying by.

"That doesn't even make any sense." I finally managed to get out, still utterly confused ."Especially since it wasn't so dysfunctional when it was pushed up against your stomach the other night."

She turned to look at me and a small dimple emerged on her cheek as she tried to fight off the massive smile. She was planning something, setting an intricate trap, but I was blind to it.

"But that's why it does make sense. I wouldn't actually know if it worked, you didn't follow through. Hence the 'dysfunction' of your 'erection'."

_Did the bitch just call me impotent?_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can call me anorexic or fat or balding all you want, but you are not going to start insulting my dick. Low blow."

"Pun intended?" She giggled. I ignored her.

"Besides, YOU were the one who stopped our action, it had nothing to do with the performance of my man-parts." She smiled at my choice of words and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Calm down, no need to get so defensive. It was a joke." She paused. "Though you do seem to be overcompensating for something..."

"There is nothing I need to overcompensate for." Now it was my turn to laugh. I looked down at my crotch and I caught her doing the same thing. She blushed but kept composed otherwise.

"That's not what I'm talking about."

My laughter quickly subsided and I turned to face her, desperately trying to read the meaning behind the levity in her expression. She licked her lips and proceeded in a soft, innocent voice.

"How often do you watch porn?" She gazed up at me from under her lashes. I quickly turned my eyes back to the road. Something about her expression unnerved me.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" I asked cautiously. Her trap was set, I knew that much, but I still couldn't find my way through the jumbled mess of her words.

"One you apparently feel uncomfortable answering."

"That's funny, like you'd answer it either..."

"I watch a lot of porn." She interrupted me before I could finish. "Sometimes daily, depending how busy I am throughout the week."

I jerked my head around to look at her. Still a slight blush, the same innocent smile on her face, and it was hard to fathom that those words just came rolling out of that mouth.

"Really?" My words were barely louder then a whisper. I couldn't help but think that this conversation, with any other girl, would have turned me on.

_Any other girl, Cullen? Because your growing erection says otherwise..._

I shifted slightly in my seat, making sure she wouldn't notice.

_It's not because of her. She's talking about porn, you know that's the reason you're getting horny._

Score one for my second crazy person inner voice, I liked that explanation a lot better.

"Yes, really." She breathed out. "But that's not the point. I wasn't too scared to answer, so why are you?"

"Because you've got an ulterior motive for asking me that and don't know what it is."

"Only one way to find out." She shrugged.

I took a deep breath to stable myself.

"Only occasionally. I'm not really that into porn." The words came tumbling out of my mouth, anxious and flustered.

"Why?" She seemed genuinely intrigued.

"Never really found my type." Truth be told, when you have a flawless mind, any memory you have is always infinitely better. I could recall every touch, every taste, every sound from my previous exploits, so the use of conventional porn was unnecessary. I was like my own walking porn channel. But I wasn't about to tell her that.

"That's bullshit. There's tons of gay porn out there."

There it was. She had lured me in, hook, line, and sinker. And I had fallen right into it.

"Listen, little girl, I'm not gay."

"I didn't mean to offend you. There's nothing wrong with being gay. I could just tell you were hiding something, I didn't mean to upset you by outing you." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm not gay! Why the hell would you think that anyway? I know you've heard about my reputation..."

"Yeah, heard." She cut me off. "But from what I've SEEN, you couldn't follow through. It makes sense."

"YOU stopped it! That doesn't make ME gay!" My voice was getting louder and stronger with each word.

She was snickering again, trying to hold back a grin. Was she deliberately trying to rile me up? It was working.

"Assistant event planner, designer clothes, the dieting." She ticked each off on her fingers, "It's ok, I know you have your player image to uphold. Your secret is safe with me."

"I'm not fucking gay, ok?"

"Have you really ever thought about it?"

"What?" I exclaimed incredulously.

"Have you thought about it? I mean, you could be gay but you're just repressing your inner feelings because you've never seriously considered the idea of being with another man."

"Get off it, Dr. Freud. I'm not gay!"

"But have you ever thought about being with a guy sexually?"

"No!"

"Well, then do it!"

"What the fuck are you on, woman?"

"Just think about kissing another guy."

I couldn't help it, the thought came to me anyway. The guy was faceless, but his chin was scruffy and it irritated me, his lips chapped, and his breath smelled like...boy. It paled in comparison to my memories of smooth skin, soft lips, and intoxicating scents, all attached to pretty eyes, gentle touches, and mesmerizing curves. I made a face.

"Ha! HA HA!" She sat up tall in her seat and gaped at me.

"What now?" I groaned.

"You just thought about it!"

"Yeah, I didn't like it though!"

"But you thought about it! Gayboy."

"What the fuck? You told me to!"

"Yeah, but only a gayboy would have done it."

_WHAT THE FUCK!_

"That's it. Tuck and roll, woman." I clicked the button to unlock the door and pointed for her to go.

She waved me off with her hand and continued to laugh loudly, legs practically curled up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

To say I was angry would be an understatement. I was fucking livid.

Taking that into consideration, nobody could really blame me for what I did later on that day.

Esme had left me in the conference room unattended, and again with a stack of papers that I had flown through despite my nagging ill temper. I had been doing my usual poker scamming on tweens when an opportunity presented itself that was just too perfect to pass up.

It was almost break time when I heard the clicking of heels walking down the hallway.

Her name was Megan and she worked in the Billing Department. She was in her mid-twenties, average height and build, with bobbed bleach blond hair and little to no intelligence. The fact that she had a job of any kind had always come as a mild shock to me. Especially since the few times we had met, the conversation was never more than her asking me to get in her cheap, designer knock-off pants. Too bad for her, on my scale of fuckability, I had labeled her unworthy, cast aside in a pile of girls I had deemed "only if I'm desperate" or "only if I figure out a way to get wasted first".

Lucky for her, I was now desperate. I couldn't think of a more perfect way to prove to Swan that I wasn't gay then to do the very un-gay act of fucking Megan from Billing - she may not have been beautiful, or smart, or funny...or have any redeeming qualities of any kind, but she was easy and willing, and goddammit, she was a girl, and that's all that mattered.

"Mmm, your cock tastes so good, Edward." She moaned in what I can only assume was meant to be a sexy voice.

_Then shut the fuck up and keep sucking it, woman. Geez..._

It wasn't ideal, but in a place as small as Forks, I had to take what I could get. I was sitting in my work chair, lounging back, counting the tiles on the ceiling, pants and boxers down around my ankles, with Megan from Billing on her knees in front of me, tiny hands grasped firmly around the base of my hard shaft, and her small mouth eagerly working the head. I suppose I should give her an "A" for effort. She knew her way around a cock, pumping me in rhythm with her mouth and massaging the tip with her tongue. At least she was doing a decent job when she wasn't talking.

"You like that, baby?" She purred, the vibrations tickling my head as she pulled away and batted her eyes up at me.

_I like it better when there's more sucky, less talky..._

"Feels good..." I mumbled, glancing down briefly to give her a reassuring smile. Girlfriend had a stray hair on her chin that needed to be plucked and it was driving me crazy. I turned my attention back to the ceiling the moment she finally dipped her head back down to continue. Granted, it did feel good, I couldn't deny that, but I was too busy keeping time internally to really enjoy what she was doing.

_Let's see...Swan usually gets here right at 12, so if I start screwing her a few minutes before, then I can time it just right with Swan's arrival and she'll be able to hear us...I wonder if this chick's a screamer..._

"Ooh, Edward, I'm so wet for you!" She squealed.

_Screamer...check. Time to get this going, big boy._

"Come here." I gently pulled her head up and her body followed. I stood up and quickly undid the zipper on her pants, pushing them along with her soaked panties to the floor. Normally I would relish the feeling of soft girl against my skin, but I had business to take care of. I cupped her ass roughly and lifted her upwards, positioning her on the end of the table. She gasped in delight and grabbed onto my hair, pulling me towards her, whispering stupid cliches in my ear. With no formalities, I pushed my cock into her, pausing for just a moment to savor the feeling of warmth and wetness, before moving back and forth inside of her, setting a hard tempo.

A knock came at the locked door. I caught a taste of a familiar scent and I couldn't hear any thought coming from the other side. Swan. My timing was impeccable.

"What was that?" Megan from Billing panted into my ear as I thrust into her.

"Nothing. Keep going." I whispered back, increasing my pace.

A louder, more pronounced, and certainly more annoyed, knock came from the unamused girl on the opposite side of the door. Megan turned to look and I heard more questions brewing in her head, but I stopped all of her rational thought by shoving my hand between us, rubbing her clit in fast circles, and growling in her ear. "Come for me." Over and over.

She let out a loud moan and threw her head back as she came, eyes closed and chest heaving.

A genuinely pissed off loud thud came from the direction of the door.

I was getting close too. She wasn't particularly good, but she had served her purpose. Swan was aggravated and I was getting laid. All was right in the world.

Now came the hard part. As my body tensed up, my natural instincts took over. She looked up at me, pouting and trying to look sexy as she recovered from her orgasm. She thought I was looking back, but all I saw was the pulsing vein in her throat, pushing the blood through her body.

_Control it, Cullen._

My thrusting got faster and my eyes zeroed in on the flowing blood just below the surface of her skin. Just one taste...one little taste...

_CONTROL._

I released, my hips bucking wildly, spilling into her. Crisis averted, yet again. I smirked just a little, knowing that Alice probably saw all of that and was likely making fake gagging noises at the moment.

"You better get going, someones at the door." I pulled away from her and quickly cleaned myself off, pulling my boxers and pants back into place. She was taken aback by my rush, but was too shocked at my forwardness and too blissfully satisfied from her orgasm to disagree. She zipped her pants back up and smoothed down her hair.

"You still have my number from the last time I gave it to you, right?" She questioned me hopefully.

"Yeah, sure."

"Maybe you should try calling it sometime."

"Yeah, yeah, sure thing. Listen, I've got to get back to work." I guided her over to the door. She stared at me for a moment, her mind desperately trying to convince her that I would definitely call this time. I wouldn't. I never did.

I opened the door and she briskly walked out and back down the hall, making sure not to make eye contact with the girl sitting on the hallway floor, carefully balancing a half eaten sandwich in her lap.

I looked down at Swan and smirked.

"You can come in, the table's free now."

She snorted. "I'd rather not catch a venereal disease from eating off that tainted table, but thanks for the offer. I'll know just who to call should I ever feel the need to contract herpes."

"You shouldn't make fun of the poor girl like that." I chastised her.

"That comment wasn't aimed at her." She glared at me from under her lashes.

I huffed at her insult. "So, what now? You're just going to eat your lunch in the hallway? On the floor?"

She brought the sandwich to her mouth and took a big, spiteful bite.

"Yorr sussa meh orr." She mumbled, her mouth full.

"What?"

She swallowed and began again. "You're such a Manwhore."

I grinned, turning my back to her and walking over to my chair.

"That may be true, but I'm a STRAIGHT Manwhore."

Pleased with myself, I turned back to my computer and started another game of Hold'Em. Swan remained in the hallway, silent, for the rest of break.


	16. Smiled

***Author's Note* Much love to all the reviewers out there! Sorry for the delay with this chapter. Without trying to sound like a sob story, this week has been hard. I came back from the beach to find out that my dad has a girlfriend. It's only been three months since my mom died, and admittedly, I've not been handling it well. This bit of news didn't help. I'm still very much jobless and my dad's new hobby is spending time with someone else, so instead of working on the story while I moped around the house, I spent the past week organizing my music and creating Emo-Edward worthy playlists to listen to.**

**If you use iTunes and your music collection is missing track information, then you must check out a program called TuneUp. Perfect for all those OCD/chronic-alphabetizers like me with 100+GB of mislabeled music just begging to be fixed (full version of TuneUp does cost money though, sorry).**

**With that being said, you can blame my whiny-ass music for the wait and for the Emo-Edward of this chapter.**

**Characters are Stephenie's, music is in my profile (which I've also updated with a rambling description about me), and I still love reviews/favs/alerts very much!**

--------

_Disarm you with a smile_

_And leave you like they left me here_

_To wither in denial_

_The bitterness of one who's left alone_

_Ooh, the years burn_

_Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm_

--------

I had two options to consider:

Option One: Some higher being was rewarding me.

_For what? Being a jackass? Not likely._

Option Two: Swan was fucking pissed at me.

_That's more like it._

She hadn't said a word to me in the past 24 hours. And after carefully weighing the options, I had come to the inevitable conclusion that Swan was indeed pissed off at me. Thursday's commute home came and went silently, as did the drive Friday morning. And our break time together had been equally quiet as she gnawed on her tuna, her eyes shooting daggers at me from under her lashes. Hauling her back to her house Friday afternoon was proceeding in the same manner. Completely fucking silent.

To be quite honest, I didn't know how much more I could take. I was having a sort of conflict of interests. I hated listening to her spew her word vomit everywhere, but I hated the silent tension even more, amplified by the fact that her mind was silent too. I didn't feel bad being a dick to her when she was being a bitch to me, and calling her names unprovoked seemed very ungentlemanly of me. Not to mention, it broke the deal we made. I could only call her a bitch if she deserved it. And to deserve it, I needed her snappy and bitter and hateful. I needed her to talk to me.

As we pulled out of the hospital parking lot, I looked over at Swan, who was staring out the window, arms crossed, her scowl reflected in the glass. I cleared my throat, trying to get her attention. The only movement she made was to further ingrain the scowl into her mouth until her cheeks actually quivered. Looking at her through the reflection, I was reminded of the old wives' tale where holding an ugly expression for too long can cause your face to freeze that way. That could very well be her problem.

She was still ignoring me. And still scowling. And still quiet. And I was quickly losing my mind.

_Gloves off, Cullen. Come out swinging._

"Jealous, much?" My tone was condescending and arrogant. Exactly the kind of thing that would set her off.

She whipped her face around and gave me a disgusted look. Well, it had gotten her attention at least.

"Are you asking if I'm jealous that you're a Manwhore? Or are you asking if I'm jealous of the woman you used as a sperm dumpster?" She practically spat the words at me. "Either way, the answer is a big fat no."

_Yep, definitely pissed._

"I have needs." I scoffed back at her, though secretly I was pleased with myself for coaxing her to fight with me.

"You could just use your hand like everybody else."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Including you?"

"Duh." She rolled her eyes like it was nothing and turned her face back to the window.

I really hadn't expected her to answer that. Once again, she threw me off my game and I was left desperately wishing I could infiltrate her mind. Just a glimpse into her thought process would be fascinating.

"Well, maybe now you'll shut the hell up about all this gay shit." I said, regrouping my focus. She turned to look at me again, her scowl slowly seeming to disappear.

"Is that what this is all about?" She was looking up at me from under her lashes, her tone noticeably softer, less biting. "I was just messing around, you know. You shouldn't feel the need to prove yourself to me."

"Huh?"

_Really showing your intellect lately, Cullen._

"I was just teasing you, I know you're not gay. Though I wouldn't care if you were." She shrugged nonchalantly like we were having the most common of conversations.

"But...you made me think about kissing a dude!" She had seemed so adamant that she had been right, it really didn't seem possible that it had all just been one big joke. But then again, things never really were what they seemed when it came to Swan.

"It's no big deal. I've thought about kissing girls, it doesn't make me a lesbian."

_Say what?_

I could feel the same strain on my pants that I had felt the day before during our porn conversation. And just like that time, I attributed my erection to the topic of our conversation only. And once again, I found myself shifting my legs to hide it from Swan. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression that I was interested in her or anything.

_She seems pretty open about her sexuality, maybe she'd get turned on knowing you are too..._

_Shut up!_

I shot her a sideways glance. She was biting her lip and I had noticed it was her nervous habit.

_Fuckhot._

_SHUT UP!_

The time was soon approaching that I would have to engage in a very heated conversation with my inner voices about why it's inappropriate to think sexy thoughts about "the thing I hate" aka Swan. I regained control and smirked down at her, bringing the cocky edge back to my voice.

"But there's a difference. That's hot."

She rolled her eyes.

"Ugh. Double standard. You thought it was disgusting when I was talking about guys."

"I will concede the fact that there is indeed a double standard. A very hot double standard."

She bit her lip again, contemplating.

_Still fuckhot._

"So, did you just kinda call me hot?" She tilted her head to the side and just a hint of a blush crossed her cheekbones.

I replayed my words and grimaced.

"Inadvertently."

"I'll take it."

"Quit stealing compliments, woman." I muttered, slightly embarrassed by my poor word choice. "Compliment thief."

She giggled and the blush deepened. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was actually having fun talking to me.

"You're fun to play with, Edward. Well, at least when you're not being a disgusting Manwhore."

_Ok, so maybe she is enjoying our twisted little conversation. No harm in me having a little fun with her too._

"I can be really fun to play with." I wagged my eyebrows suggestively at her.

"You're so gross."

"Not really the reaction that gets me going, Swan." I said sarcastically. I saw her house up ahead and felt just the slightest bit of disappointment that I'd soon be saying goodbye to her.

_No, Cullen, that's your dick talking. It hates saying goodbye to any potential piece of ass._

"Oh. Edward. Yes. Please take me now. Oh baby. Oh baby." She deadpanned.

"Well if you insist." I hastily pulled the car into her driveway, put it into park, and started to unbutton my pants.

"What are you doing!" She squealed.

"What?" I asked, playing dumb, though the hint of a smile was visible at the corners of my mouth.

"I said you're fun when you're NOT being a Manwhore. That was the opposite of me asking you to screw me."

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice wished she would. The smile that had been threatening to escape had finally found it's way out and I giggled at the terrified look on her face.

_Wait._

_WTF._

_I giggled?_

_Please tell me she didn't catch that._

The pseudo look of horror on her face was replaced by her own broad smile.

_She caught it._

"I like this smile a lot better than the fake ones you give your mom." She practically whispered.

_Damage control, stat._

I quickly erased all traces of the smile from my lips.

"I don't smile." I said through gritted teeth, refusing to open my mouth any more for fear that my lips may betray me again. She waited, curious. "I smirk. There is a difference."

She nodded her head.

"You're right, there is a difference. And that," She brought a warm finger up and lightly jabbed me in the cheek where the corner of my mouth had committed treason just moments before, "Was most definitely a smile."

I swear she let her finger linger on my cheek for longer than necessary before she made a move to get out of the car, pausing as she opened the door as if she had something pressing to say.

"Yes...?" I humored her, completely mesmerized by where her thoughts could be taking her now.

"Are you going to the party tonight at Lauren's?" She asked shyly.

I snorted. She didn't get it.

"Its that a no?"

"That's a hell no."

"Why not?"

"Are you kidding me?"

She shook her head.

"After that little stunt you pulled last weekend, I doubt I'll be able to show my face again." My light mood had taken a dramatic plunge back into the angst ridden ravine it was accustomed to dwelling in.

She sighed and gave me an exasperated look. "It can't be that bad."

"Are you deaf?" I was incredulous. "Did you not hear them laughing at me afterward? My entire reputation was ruined!"

"Such a pity." Her voice reeked of sarcasm.

"Excuse me?" I growled.

"So your illustrious player reputation, you know, the one of you screwing anybody halfway attractive and then ditching them with no dignity, no respectable goodbye, was ruined. Big fucking loss there!" She was angry but not livid like I had seen her before. Almost like instead of shouting at me, she was trying to actually explain something to me. "For once, just once, other people had the last laugh when it was truly deserved and yet you still have the audacity to play the victim. You're an arrogant, self-centered, jackass who thinks everyone should cater to your needs because you're rich, and beautiful, and charming. Get over yourself."

Her speech done with, she sat practically gasping for air in the passenger seat, the door still hanging halfway open. I took in everything she said, my mind repeatedly getting caught up on one simple word.

"Did you just call me beautiful?" My tone wasn't sarcastic, or arrogant, or condescending. It was hopeful.

Now it was her turn to replay her words. Her mouth moved slightly as she repeated her sentence back under her breath and her blush crept back quickly to her face.

"Inadvertently." She whispered, echoing my earlier admittance.

After a moment of awkward silence, I straightened up in my seat and reiterated my declaration.

"I'm still not going. I can't face it. Not yet."

"You're really scared of what they may say about you, aren't you?" Her eyes widened as she accurately gauged my fear level.

"I'm not a coward." I hissed, my eyes squinting into narrow slits. She gave me a sympathetic smile as she finally climbed out of the car.

"Even the strongest people get scared, Edward. It doesn't make you a cowardly person. Just human."

With that she closed the door and bounded off into the house, leaving me stunned, gaping after her, as usual.

I drove home, with my mind reeling and eventually found myself staring at the curtain-door to my room. Someone had taken a pen and written under my initial sign:

_He-Man Woman Haters Club_

_Edward Cullen, President_

My first instinct was to blame Jasper, as it just reeked of his special kind of douchebaggery, but whoever it was had disguised their writing. And frankly, I didn't care. Normally it would be exactly the sort of thing that would set me off, that would cause me to rampage through the house in one of my infamous funks, tearing a new asshole into everyone I encountered, causing havoc and turning everyone's day miserable just as mine had been. But that day I honestly didn't care, and that day I had more pressing things on my mind. All I cared about was what she had said to me. Jasper should really thank Swan for saving him from an angry-Edward encounter, because it was her words echoing in my head that kept me preoccupied.

_'Just human...'_

No words had ever sounded so appealing, so beautiful, before then.

_She called me...'human...'_

Leave it to Swan to sum up exactly what I had been aching to achieve for decades. I parted the curtain and crossed the room, arranging myself on the usual spot on my couch, staring at the same spot on my ceiling. But something was different this time. It wasn't aimless wallowing. No, this time I had something to think about. Something about what Swan had said hit a nerve in me, awoken some dormant feeling that I had long ago confined to the depths of my twisted mind.

I spent the weekend pondering my entire existence in my own little Emo-Edward lair of self-loathing. I only had one visitor Friday night, Alice. And that was only because she wanted to gank some of my CDs.

She had come bopping into my room, completely ignoring me on the couch and headed straight for my CD collection, ripping out titles and stuffing them in the backpack she was carrying and scoffing at others. After watching the whirlwind that was Alice for several moments I finally addressed her.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm packing for my vacay." She said frankly, as she stuffed a handful of CDs in her bag.

"You're leaving?"

"I told you that. On the car ride over to Bella's." She rolled her eyes. "Remember, you told me to shut up..."

"Yeah, I remember." I snapped. "I just didn't think it would be this soon. I knew Bitchy and the Beast were leaving tomorrow, but I didn't think you two were heading out at the same time."

"We decided to visit Denali with Rose and Emmett first, then we'll part ways and Jasper and I will be in Paris! Oh, I love Paris..." She trailed off and flung yet another CD into her increasingly full backpack.

"Hey! That's one of my favorites!"

"Relax," She sighed, unfazed, "I'm just taking ones that you have duplicates of in your car. It's not like you'll be needing these extra copies in the house anyway, considering you have no stereo to play them on."

"You could be nice and tell me where it's hidden before you all leave." I pointed out.

"Yeah...I COULD be nice..."

He tone told me that she wasn't going to be. She finally gave up rummaging through my collection and skipped across my room, calling over her shoulder as she went.

"I'll let you know if I see you with that supermodel!"

"Or impending death...don't forget impending death!" I yelled to her retreating back.

I spent the rest of Friday night thinking about the party I was missing out on. But was I really missing anything? Beer, same old girls, same horny jackass guys. Newton. The novelty of this life had started wearing off about as soon as it had started. We had been here too long, I could feel it. I was becoming common. I wasn't the hot mysterious guy anymore...by now everyone knew my ways.

I left my couch just once over the weekend, making it all the way into the living room on Saturday where my parents had gathered to say bon voyage to Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice before they left on their respective summer long expeditions to Denali, Paris, and wherever else happy couples go. Seriously, they'd all seen half of the world by then, and I was pretty sure the half they hadn't visited simply consisted of small towns rivaling Forks for the title of "Most Boring Place, Ever", the rats that lived underneath bridges and overpasses, and Transylvania (because really, that's just way too cliche of a vacation destination for our kind, fucking stereotypes).

Regardless, off they went to see the world, and I emerged only that one time to give my obligatory goodbye. And by "goodbye", I really mean "Get the hell out of my house, assholes," as that's what I actually said to them.

_Terms of endearment. Trust._

At least with my siblings gone for the summer, my stress level would lower substantially. Four less people to harass me.

The rest of the weekend passed uneventfully as I spent it motionless on my couch. Esme had given up on coaxing me out early Saturday night, my anti-social attitude eventually winning over her efforts.

I was alone in my room with my thoughts. Always a dangerous combination.

I had become a rich, well-dressed, possibly metrosexual, hermit. I had designer labels in my closet. I had degrees, masters, and doctorates collecting dust in the back of the same closet. I had cars and money. I had a dwindling supply of women. I had infinite time.

And I was absolutely depressed by it all.

I could feel myself fading into the background in every aspect of my life. The local girls knew to stay away from me, not just because I was a physical threat to them, but because they saw me as a player. My own family dreaded talking to me, so much so that my own sister had found it necessary to barricade herself in a closet wielding a knife to avoid a conversation with me. Albeit, said sister was certifiably deranged, but it still hurt nonetheless.

I just needed to talk to someone face to face. A friend.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts:

_Alice_

_Carlisle_

_Emmett_

_Esme_

_Jasper_

_Rosalie_

All grouped together under "Family." My "Friends" group was completely empty.

_That's incredibly pathetic, Cullen._

Human. Swan's words haunted me once again. I'd been pretending so long but I'd never really felt human. I acted like them...but I never tried to get to know them. Wasn't part of being human making friends, having relationships? I had most certainly failed on those two points.

I had been trying to feel human for decades, but instead of embracing mankind, I'd pushed it away. I couldn't think of one human I'd ever had a conversation with that wasn't about business or getting me laid.

Except for one. Only one person actively tried to converse with me, in a very loose sense of the word. And I supposedly hated her.

_Wait...supposedly?_

She was a bitch. She was annoying. She definitely had some wires crossed in her head.

_She talks to you._

I hurriedly justified my reasoning for thinking of Swan. I was just lonely, I mean, this was the same girl that I had fantasized killing just a week earlier.

But instead of having a staring contest with the ceiling as I normally did, I thought about her.

She talked to me like I wasn't some freak show or someone she just wanted to fuck. Quite the opposite, actually. She talked to me like I was a real person. She had called me beautiful. She called me human.

She had also thought about kissing another girl.

I felt a familiar ache below my waist, hard skin straining against thin fabric. It didn't take long for my hand to end up down my pants. Instinctively, my fist moved slowly over my hard cock.

She was always playing with me, teasing me.

I imagined her teasing me in other very naughty ways.

My back arched as I quickly came in my hand.

I smiled, reveling in the post-orgasm bliss until what had just transpired finally hit me.

_Fuck me. Did I just cum thinking about Swan?_


End file.
